dianegclark

Last Friday night the Homestead girls came over for a sleepover! It was so much fun! The bathtub at Homestead is broken so the girls took turns soaking in our giant tub. We ate lots of fun food and did our nails and had a dance contest that turned into a rap contest. Deb came over for awhile and we all just chatted and enjoyed each other’s company. It was nice enough to sit out on the deck in the thing and the morning. We missed Andrea and Sam who couldn’t come. In the morning we had coffee and cinnamon rolls. It was not to get too know the girls better, especially it to newest girls. I feel so honored to be a part of each of these guys’ journeys.

What an amazing and precious time away with Pastor Dave and Mel. We left early Thursday morning for a getaway weekend in Denver to see the Eagles in concert in Denver. The drive was a blast as we sang Eagles and other songs in harmony, of course, and stopped in Colby at the Oasis Qdoba for chips and Starbucks.

We arrived at our lovely Airbnb and rested and cleaned up before lyfting to Coors Field.

It was extremely hot and humid waiting for the concert but when you’re with friends it’s all ok.

Our seats were down on the field up fairly close. Caroline Jones opened and was quite enjoyable then Jimmy Buffet put on a fun show. But the Eagles were amazing!! We stood up and sang every word to every song. Our new friend Cecilia joined us in our harmonies. We even got some high fives from nearby folks. I don’t know how to put into words how talented the musicians were and how much we all enjoyed it. Dave said he cried several times. I’m not a super experienced concert goer but it was the best I’ve sent for sure.

Friday morning Dave and I went for a short walk in the neighborhoods near our Airbnb because we woke up early. Then icing on the cake, we met these beautiful people for breakfast!

We ate at a hip vegan breakfast place, adventurous for us. It was surreal to see our kids on this trip. Such s blessing.

After breakfast we all rested then Dave and I had a deep several hour long convo. So good to get to know our precious friends even better on this trip. And to thoroughly enjoy life with them.

Dave and Mel and I went on a hot, fruitless walk looking for a thrift stores in the afternoon while Scotty napped. So many homeless people in downtown Denver.

Our evening was perfect. Hannah and Kent recommended a restaurant about 30 miles away situated atop rolling mountains with a view for dinner. It was an open air cidery serving yummy burgers and ribs and fries. We sat inside and out and chatted, laughed and partook.

After dinner we happened upon the 16th street outdoor mall and enjoyed gelato in the lovely evening before heading back to our home away from home.

And then more 70’s music and some worship practice and fellowship on the car ride home.

This beautiful friendship promises many more trips and adventurers and precious memories to come.

I am not even sure how to capture how special my celebration party was to me in words. I didn’t take any pictures, just saved a few others took! This was my 3rd (?) annual birthday party I’ve thrown for myself. Each year I am so blessed by who comes. This year we had so much more to celebrate! In addition to it being our anniversary (34 years!), we hadn’t done much for Scott’s birthday so we added those events. Then my retirement and beating cancer and you have yourself a celebration!

I created an event on facebook and invited tons of people. I sent an email to all of Eisenhower, the school social workers, all of Courser Lapo, and invited all of Homestead and our Bible Study. I would have invited all of TRU also but didn’t figure out how. It was hard to cut it off because I have so many people in my life who mean so much to me! I was a little worried as the date got closer as I had so many who said they couldn’t come due to other commitments.

But the party had a wonderful turn out and I was so blessed. There were at least representatives from all the groups I belong to. Leah and her family came for the day (so precious to me) and it was amazing to walk around with Henry introducing him to all and even having many hold him and cuddle him! And watching Emmet interact with all the adults, relatives, people he didn’t know, and the kids. He came up for love and hugs and sat on my lap many times throughout the party. He played with 3 year old Ziana, letting her pull him around in the wagon.

Larry and Jo also represented the family. Tracy and Dave and Lori and Lee and Scott and their spouses from school came, and later Helen. All of the Homestead girls came which meant so much to me. They looked so beautiful and dressed up! And Deb and Dacia.

Pastor Dave and Mel came (PD became my door greeter!), Chad and his family, Pittenger’s, Fred and his fam, all from TRU came.

Mary and Jon represented Bible study. Jesi and Kim came from Courser Lapo. My sweet friend Pam came. And Crystal. All in all there were about 60 people or more! We ate and drank and chatted and enjoyed! The weather was beautiful so people were able to group up around the table outside, on the sofas on the deck and on the driveway near where Scott was barbecuing. And also inside around a puzzle, around the table, and the island. And the kids played quietly on the video games in the new room.

So many people said they wanted to come and weren’t able so maybe we will have a repeat or a half birthday or find many other reasons to celebrate. Thank you to all who came and anyone I didn’t mention! I love all of you!

Yesterday we woke up and ate our pastries and coffee in the room then took a lift to El Mercado, the Mexican market. We shopped and bought a couple presents and a backpack for me for the way home. I bought a couple of miniatures for my box and mom bought a cross. We also bought some pretty bracelets.

We ate at Mi Tierra even though we weren’t very hungry.

Then we hit the pool of course, then I took a long walk all around the Riverwalk. While I was walking, Leah FaceTimed so I got lost. But we keep chatting and the next thing I knew I was at the hotel!

We got gussied up and headed out for dinner. We punted the wheelchair and made the mama hoof it. We sorta figured out that the gps takes you street level so when it says you’ve arrived you go down to the Riverwalk and you are somewhat close. Much easier to do without the wheelchair.

Dinner was at Pasaeanos Italian restaurant on the Riverwalk. By on the Riverwalk I mean on it. The ducks came up and ate out of mom’s hand. Also the pigeons and sparrows.

That belly is from all this food. Lol.

After dinner we took a guided boat ride around the whole Riverwalk. Here are the best photos.

It really is gorgeous. Mom hiked all the way back to the hotel. By hiking I mean snail walking with lots of poignant sighs. God bless her. We hit our hotel room every night by the late hour of 9. I’m not complaining.

Today, our last day, we got up and went directly across from our hotel to the shops at La Villita. We went in one shop and hit gold. Mom spent a pretty penny and I jackpotted a skirt and bracelet. Then We hit the pool again, yippee! I’m brown again! Then we cleaned up, checked out, ate some more, topped it off with ice cream (ice cream makes her happy)

And now we are waiting to leave for the airport.

It’s another awesome trip in the memory books for us two.

It was time for a little vacay. Mom and I haven’t been on our annual trip in awhile so we booked a trip to stay on the San Antonio Riverwalk.

We flew out of Manhattan Sunday afternoon.

Here we are freakishly early for our flight as that is how we roll. When it was time to board, there were 10 people or so there and she called out, “Priority Ticket holders” then one right after the other, “Group 1, Group 2, Group 3, Group 4, Group 5, Group 6”. It was pretty funny. Then the pilot said, “We are first in line for take off” when there are probably only 1 or 2 flights out of Manhattan in a 24 hour period! Our flights were short and uneventful and we lyfted to the Hotel Contessa arriving around 10 pm.

So after a good night sleep, we ventured out to find a recommended restaurant nearby. And got hopelessly lost on the riverwalk (which was beautiful and amazing albeit extremely confusing). We got back up on the street and found our restaurant. Boy did that coffee and food taste great! The panederia was a similar style to the restaurant Chip and Joanna opened in Waco. I ordered a bacon, egg and black bean croissant.

Mom got a ham and cheese torte. We finished and made our way back to the hotel, and got lost yet again. WAAAAAY too much walking for the Mama.

Next stop: the top floor outdoor pool, near heaven.

After the pool, a nice rest in the room and then drinks in the lobby of our beautiful hotel.

Had to cut her off because Mom was loopy after half. And because we are problem solvers, we rented a wheelchair so Mom didn’t have to walk all around.

But of course, we got lost yet again trying to find our restaurant. And once again hit gold with the Iron Cactus.

We had the most amazing queso dip and salsa and the El Agave drink with strawberry was AMAZING! It was kinda hilarious when they brought our actual dinners.

How in the world would we possibly eat all that? We boxed it up and set out for the hotel and of course, got lost again. Writing this is making getting lost so often seem funny which is helping because it isn’t funny when it is happening! I’m trying to cut down on the cursing and getting lost is not helping!

We took some nice pics of the riverwalk on the little island near our hotel (turns out it is a famous island which made us part of the tour for all the boats passing by).

This morning we got up and ate the pastries we bought at yesterday’s paneria. Mine was chocalate shake something which was chocolate cream filled and really really good. We took a short jaunt on the streets (and didn’t get lost!) to the shops on the riverwalk. I bought a super cute pink top and wild capri leggings at Macy’s

and a super cute sort of flowery jacket and a white top at American Eagle Outfitters (actually mom sprung for that part). Then another trip to the pool, found it closed, but made our way to the hotel pool next door for some more sunshine. We made friends with some folks from Alaska and a couple from Nebraska.

We rested and took a lyft to a salon about 10 minutes away. Mom got a pedi and I got a mani. The lady had 45 years experience and she was meticulous! Best mani I ever had. The Lyft driver asked us the last song we heard that we liked and we told him we listen to contemporary Christian. He put on So Will I and then Good Good Father and we proceeded to sing together on the ride!

We rested back at the hotel then went along the street to another recommended restaurant, Boudro’s.

Yes, we did get briefly lost on the way there. Did I mention that when we can’t find an elevator, we have to have mom get up and walk up stairs and find a kind soul to help carry the heavy wheelchair up and down and across? Haven’t had any trouble finding kind souls yet. Tonight it was a homeless guy so we gave him a little cash.

Dinner was very good. We got smart this time and shared. We ordered the prickly pear margueritas which were fabulous! and the filet and lobster tails.

Wow! So yummy! We did NOT order the table side made guac but I had to show you.

And our friends from the pool popped by just in time to help us eat our flan for dessert! They were so nice, she a high school counselor and he a middle school social studies teacher in Lincoln. So we had no shortage of things to talk about. Then they pushed mom in her chair back to the hotel, Praise Jesus!

Am also enjoying my time at the hotel just hanging out. Did yoga tonight, practicing our songs for church, did a mindful master class, and of course, massive amounts of novel reading. I am sure that eating and drinking and getting lost are all on the agenda for tomorrow. Not in that particular order. The drinking generally occurs AFTER the getting lost.

This has been such an emotional few weeks as I wrapped up my last school year as a school social worker. I love my job and my co-workers. When I found out that I had met the 85 rule for KPERS, I prayed, met with Scott and HR, met with Courser Lapo and made the decision to do it. It lined up perfectly and felt right. It was confirmed by knowing that Leah and my Mom need more, I haven’t seen my Dad in a very very long time, and then having cancer certainly changes everything. I am ready to go deeper with people both personally and professionally. Having a ridiculous number of kids on my caseload requires so much energy. The schools are in such a process of change. So I knew this was right, but that didn’t make it easy. Not by a long shot.

I’ve been emotional for weeks. I would be walking through the cafeteria or hallway with my radio at my hip, supervising, and just be overwhelmed with emotions. Doing closure with the kids was extremely difficult and I didn’t do a great job of it. Myself and my precious co-worker friends began treasuring every “last”.

I wrote notes to all the staff to tell them how special they are. Some were crazy hard to write. I made dates to get together with key people this summer. Last events, Worlds of Fun, the gala and awards night, 8th grade recognition night, were bittersweet, hard.

Meanwhile I wrote my letter and scattered business cards for my new adventure as a therapist at Courser Lapo Clinical and Family services and prepared my new office.

Then the last day came. I knew it would be hard. I started the day at a doctor office for the first hour and a half. When I walked in to school, these flowers from Scott and Pastor Dave were on my desk.

The kids were all in the assembly. My friend waved to me from the top of the bleachers so I joined her and watched some of the staff v student basketball game. But I kept having to leave as emotions washed over me. I tried to hang close to Mary and Angela. I will miss them so crazy much.

Mary is my rock. She constantly asks how I am, my barometer, my #1 support. We have laughed and cried together so many times. She is ever present, ever there for me.

And Angela.

Angela and I eat lunch together almost every day. We talk over every difficult situation either one of us is facing, personally or professionally. She is so positive and wise. She always gave me a new perspective. And that is what she said about me!

What a precious person and friendship. She read this to me in front of everyone with tears running down her face and in her voice. With me next to her sobbing hard like it was the Oprah show. I couldn’t look around the room, although my buddy and co FCA sponsor, Ben, kept catching my eye. We’ve served together in FCA for 14 years and I hold precious memories with Ben.

And then Sherry. Sherry took the EDBD position 3 years ago. What an amazing, strong, brilliant person. We worked extremely closely together and developed a friendship that will last a very very long time.

I have developed so many other close, close friendships, Lori, Emily, Summer, Bailey, more. I love my office staff, my sped staff, all. Lori and Emily co sponsored Kay Club with me for years. Precious memories and friendships.

And then there are my administrators. I am so thankful to have gotten to work for these guys, Tracy and Dave. We met weekly but worked together closely on so many tough things. They always had my back, always. Such strength and wisdom and support. And fun.

I can’t begin to mention everyone and every memory here. Clinical supervision and undergrad and graduate interns. Winning School Social Worker of the Year. Working in the schools my own kids attended. 13 years at elementary before the 16 at EMS. My amazing school social work colleagues. It will take me years to process this. I could write a whole novel of my memories as a school social worker.

My last day, the luncheon, the coin ceremony where we pass a coin around that we get to keep forever, and then being showered with love, gifts, hugs, and tears, was precious.

I really do hope to spend the time writing down some of the memories I hold dearly. Stay tuned. There is so much more to come!

I started the tomixifen drug about 10 days ago.

Back in December when I was taken off estrogen replacement, I experienced lots of anxiety. I also cried a lot. Then I went through the radiation which exhausted me and lowered my immune system so I got sick. I was in menopause. It was rough.

But all the while, even with the diagnosis, I felt peace deep in my soul. I knew God had it under control and I trusted Him. I felt Him carrying me through.

Now the tomixifen, which blocks the remainder of estrogen that my body naturally makes, is causing huge symptoms of anxiety. It’s hard to explain to others how I can feel incredible physiological anxiety and be at perfect peace at the same time. On Sunday morning it was particularly bad. I had hoped to try to lead one of the songs but decided not to. Someone asked me if I planned to sing at all. Nothing will keep me from it!

I did go to the dr yesterday and he prescribed a medication to calm these symptoms, which is helping me sleep and helping my body feel calm, calming my racing thoughts.

But I feel at peace in my soul. God loves me. He’s in control even when I can’t see. I get to sing about it on Sunday.

I left Manhattan Thursday evening and checked into Woodlawn Cottage a block from Leah and Dave’s. I went to their house at 5:30 Friday morning so they could leave for the hospital to be induced to deliver the baby.

Emmet slept unti 7. He was surprised but happy to see me when I picked him up from his crib. We had breakfast and played with my markers. He looked at his hand with green marks on it and asked clearly, “what’s that?” He looks out the window, points to the birds and asks,”do you see?” So cute. I got him dressed and he put on his yellow rain boots. At one point he spotted a square of sunshine on the floor and went over and did a perfect downward facing dog. He stayed there long enough for me to get my phone.

We played outside a long time throwing the ball for Moose and riding in his little tyke car. We had lunch then he played in his crib quietly without napping a long time. Then grandpa arrived. We kept waiting for word of a baby and finally got it at about 5. We drove through sonic for chicken nuggets for Emmet then stopped by Prairie Harvest for smoothies then took Emmet to meet the baby and went to pick up dinner for Leah and Dave.

Then we finally got to meet baby Henry.

I had guessed his name would be Henry! Henry David Gaeddert, 7 lbs 12 oz.

He was born with the cord wrapped around his neck not breathing and Leah said it was terrifying. But he’s perfectly fine.

Emmet’s grandparents and uncles Aaron and Joel came and we watched Emmet pay attention to Henry.

Other than that moment, he was as pretty oblivious to Henry.

Then we went back to the house and put Emmet to bed. He woke up and cried when It was me and not Leah to hold him but then he cried a second time and clung to me as I snuggled him. He slept later this morning and took a giant nap this afternoon. He was exhausted from playing outside with grandpa and getting knocked down by Moose. Other cute things he did: mid morning he came out of his room with his blankie, laid down on me with his head on me and put his little arms around me and just laid there. I love when he reaches his little arms up for me to pick him up. In the shower he snuggled me and loved the water hitting his back. He helped me unload the dishwasher by handing me items without being asked. He has lots of recognizable words but babbles a lot with lots of expression expecting us to understand. When he’s frustrated, he simply looks at you and asks”hep”. He randomly gives kisses. And he yells “ome” at Moose meaning “come”.

Today when they brought baby Henry home, Emmet seemed more interested. He looked at him a lot and gave him kisses. He points at his nose and says “nose” and points at him and says “Bay.”

Just before they got home, I put Emmet in the stroller and walked along the path in the woods I found a day or so before Leah’s wedding. I had been so emotional that day. I teared up feeling my emotional today, too, walking my grandson and meeting my second grandson.

Baby Henry, welcome to the world. You are already so so loved.

Wednesday after receiving my last radiation treatment, Scott and I went for coffee with Dave and Mel, then I took a short nap cuddled with Rexie, finished packing, and picked up Mom for a little adventure. It started with Mom smashing her smoothie all over herself in the car.

We drove two hours and checked in to Barnview Cottage in North Newton, a few blocks from Leah and Dave.

We unpacked then went downtown to shop in my favorite store Mainstreet and Company while waiting for Emmet to wake up from his nap. I bought got an Easter dress that I’m excited about.

Emmet was just waking up and snuggling his mama when we got there. I walked over and asked if he wanted to come to me. He reached his little arms out and came right over and then snuggled me! I gave Emmet his Easter basket and he enjoyed opening the eggs.

We took Emmet to the park.

We took Emmet out to eat at Chong’s. He was active but a good boy. He dipped each French fry carefully in the ketchup before eating it. When I pick Emmet up to carry him, he spreads his legs out wide cause he’s used to his mama’s baby tummy.

We stayed until bedtime then headed back to the cottage.

Thursday morning Leah brought Emmet over and we watched him as he drew during my quiet time then played on the floor with the toys we brought over. And the humidifier.

Close to lunch we took him back to Leah’s and fed him lunch. We taught him to say five but he won’t say it now. He played until nap time and I did all the right things and laid him down. We rested but Emmet would not go to sleep. He tried. Leah and Dave had their hospital check in appointment and then went to lunch.

When they got home, Dave went back to work. Leah and Mom and Emmet and I went to the park then Mojos for a coffee and cookie.

When Dave got home we ordered from Italian food from Genovas and ate it at Leah’s. Mom snuggled Moose and I got some cleaning in.

Leah and I took Emmet for a short walk and taught him the stop and go game. He lived it. Go! He’d yell and we moved forward then he’d take tiny steps and we were supposed to also. When were also supposed to stop when he did. Then he’d yell go! And giggle when we did.

I got Emmet ready for bed then mom and I headed back to the cottage. I slept fairly well both nights.

Friday morning we got up and ready and went to Prairie Harvest for juice from their fresh juice bar. I bought some kombucha and pepper nuts and some other fun healthy treats. Leah showed us the upstairs which can be rented out for events.

Then mom and I made the trek home from our little spring break adventure. It was good to get some quality mom time and to help Leah out. Not long til I’ll be back to watch Emmet and meet little baby Gaeddert #2!

Last Wednesday was my last treatment. Yahoo! Scott, Pastor Dave and Mel, and my friend Ann who went through this two years ago, all were there for my final treatment. They all got to see George, the radiation machine, while I changed. Then they watched the screens outside the room while I had the last hoorah. I called George a few names then broke up with him. I thanked him for getting rid of any potential cancer cells in my body but told him it was over and I didn’t appreciate the discomfort and exhaustion he had caused.

When I came out, PD made a live Facebook video. I said that I was praying for all those who have to go through radiation and for the three friends who were facing a cancer diagnosis that same week. (Update: one has surgery and chemo, the second has to wait for a biopsy and the third got great news of no cancer!).

Then I received my certificate and rang the bell. Done!

It is now Sunday night and I already feel so much better. I feel my strength returning and I’m not nearly as tired! Thank you for your prayers and support. Now on to tomoxifen.