dianegclark

I have not camped since I was a little girl. I have only kayaked once. A couple years ago, my outdoors person friend Hilary invited myself and my daughter Hannah out to Tuttle puddle for an afternoon of kayaking. I liked it! So when this intro to kayaking training came along, she invited me!

I had some idea of what and how to pack since I used to stay the night at the stadium during Relay for Life. I have a little 2 man pup tent. So I packed and got ready on Friday. We followed each other out to Council Grove lake and to a group shelter in the campground. The instructor, Larry was there. I told him about my inexperience and that I am related to master kayaker TJ, whom he knows. We set up our tents.

Hilary and I took off for Council Grove and ate dinner at the famous Hays House. I’ve always wanted to eat there and here we were in our grubby clothes. Apparently they have a nicer section upstairs so we were ok eating downstairs. We ate some yummy home cooking then looked around at the historical artifacts, then walked along the river walk awhile. I almost stepped on a tiny snake which confirmed for Hilary what I had told her, lake snakes do like me, I attract them.

When we got back to camp, it was dark and there were about 10 people there. It was different meeting people in the dark so we sat up with folks awhile then I turned in.

Hilary had brought me a nicer camp pad than I had and she brought a sheet! Difference maker! I actually slept ok! (Side note, a therapist friend sold me some Do-Terra essential oil for sleep called Serenity and it works!). I woke up when I heard other nearby campers stirring, about 640. We washed faces and teeth and I took down my tent and packed up then we attended the introductions and info meeting. The whole time I was getting ready, I was getting super nervous about the skill sessions. I am not super comfortable in the water. I mentioned this a couple of times and even though both Larry and Hilary said I only needed to do what I felt comfortable with, it was clear the the expectation was that I would do enough to learn how to handle myself if I ran into problems kayaking.

So everyone put their kayaks in the lake and I got in mine pretty easily and paddled out a ways. There were about 20 people in the group, one with less experience and many still considered beginners but much more experienced than I. I put the skirt on but I was not comfortable snapping it onto the kayak. The difference is that with the skirt on, if the kayak tipped, I would go under until I was able to unsnap the skirt off the kayak and then the PFD would cause me to pop out of the kayak and to the surface. No fricking way. Without the skirt, if the kayak tipped, I would just fall out of the kayak and float. Ok. I could do that. So I never attached the skirt and ditched it altogether in the afternoon. I also never allowed the kayak to tip.

I sort of did the few drills and was able to do all the paddling drills. When it was time to get out of the kayak to learn how to do a “self rescue”, I did carefully get out. I was unable but almost got myself back in the kayak. The group concurred that I was only unable to do it because I was in a big, stable, higher kayak. Later, when the group practiced partner rescues, I got out of the kayak two more times and was able to get back in when the partner stabilized my kayak. A little bruised, but now I know how.

We then kayaked about a mile on the water to a lunch spot. I wore out pretty quickly! I managed to get out of the kayak gracefully somehow. I enjoyed chatting with a few people, including a nurse from Manhattan. Most of the kayakers were from the Kansas City area. I had packed a pretty yummy lunch.

Getting back in the water, a snake appeared, not near me, but it confirmed what I said about attracting snakes. They had not seen one at this event before.

More practice on rescues. I wasn’t up to tipping my kayak far enough to help rescue someone else. So I had a lot of sitting around. I was too pooped to paddle much. I chatted with one helpful gentleman who offered to paddle back to camp with me a little early. I said my goodbyes and thank yous. On the way back, he decided the paddle I was using was the problem. He switched me for his and it was so much easier!

Overall, I’m pleased with the experience and I had a great time! My goal was to be a little safer if my friend Hilary invites me to kayak again and I achieved that! And made some memories in the process.

The instructor, Larry, me in the kayak, and in my hammock:

First, I have completed my six month check ups, been poked and prodded and scanned, and I am cancer free! I even got the official OK that I am not taking the tamoxifen drug, as it was only to help me prevent reoccurrence. I had such a negative reaction to it that the decision not to sacrifice my mental health for the slim possibility I will have this same type of cancer again is not worth it. The oncologist agreed that if I had had an aggressive or life threatening form of cancer, we would need to explore further options but he supported my decision. I never doubted that I was cancer free but it does feel good to know for sure. That chapter of my life is officially CLOSED praise Jesus! It still seems surreal to me that it even happened. Except when I lift weights and my right pectoral muscle balks which apparently is permanent. So what! Overall I am filled with gratitude. God is good.

Second, today is the day that all the teachers officially reported to school and I AM NOT THERE! I felt a little sad last week when I knew they had Camp Dewy and got several “I miss you texts” from my buds. I sent a text this morning saying I was thinking of them and missing them. I got lots of responses from my sweet friends and their responses made me cry. I miss them terribly. I feel not a part of something big that I used to be such a huge part of. However, I am so incredibly happy with my decision, my new schedule, and my “new” job. It has certainly been and continues to be an adjustment but it is a positive one.

Here is what God is showing me:

Balance. I have always needed a better balance between working on the inner me and the outer me. I continue to work out at the gym but I’m cool with missing some work outs if something more important comes up. This is kind of huge for me. I have always worked on the inner me but now I actually have more time. So I am giving myself lots more grace about the outer me.

Rest. This also relates to balance but God is showing me how to manage down time. We all tend to fill our down time with busyness, doing, serving others, “being Christian” but sometimes we just need to rest. I have always been a napper but I need to learn that I don’t have to always be “doing”.

Present. The therapist in me knows the importance of being fully present. I do practice mindfulness and meditation and science supports the benefits of this. God is showing me how to be fully present in each moment and let Him guide the next. I still have a tendency to lay awake at night and make massive amounts of lists and plans in my head so He isn’t done working with me on this. But I think I have it down during wakeful hours.

Alone. Being comfortable with being alone. I can be alone. But I usually fill it with busyness. So God is showing me how to be alone and restful and just be.

God is in control. Doing therapy feels like such a huge responsibility. But I am confident that every person that comes through those doors is not there by mistake. God has brought them and He is making them well. The first few weeks, I did a lot of planning. Now I do a lot of praying. It is so satisfying and inspiring to be used by God to bring peace and hope and joy to clients. He is in control.

A sample day in my new life: I woke up without an alarm at 8:30 (Whaat? I have hit the ground running alarm set at 530, clients in my office by 715 for so many years!) I did my quiet time with God in my favorite chair on the deck facing the yard. I love my daily coffee time and conversations with God. It is awesome when I can do that just after waking up and without feeling rushed. I texted my friends to tell them I missed them then got ready and sang some worship songs taking my time, soaking in the tub. Then I went into the office and saw a client. I let God completely lead the session without having made any pre plans. Then I got gas without checking to see if it was on some sort of to do list. Then I decided to stop by Smoothie King and get a yummy smoothie for lunch. I enjoyed that watching HGTV, and doing this blog which I’ve been looking forward to doing. Then I took a little nap. I did Homestead support group (again, God is in control) and had a late client cancel, then vocal practice and dinner with PD and Scott.

Who could possibly ask for a better day?

Day one:. Road trip!

Scott and I left Manhattan in the Rav at 830 am on Friday. We stopped at Starbucks and meet Leah and Dave who put Emmet’s Caraway in our car for the trip! I am amazed at how this little guy did. Of course, he had the constant attention of a grandparent at all times. We read books, sang, danced, colored, snacked, and scream laughed so the way to Golden. A quick stop at Kent and Hannah’s for the reunion and meeting Molly, Joel’s girlfriend. Oh the joy of seeing my babies again. I cried.

Then a caravan up to Breckenridge in the rain, yes, with this anxious chick driving.

The condo is perfect. There is plenty of sleeping places and bathrooms. We stayed with Dave’s family in the same complex years ago (the time the kids got lost).

After a few rounds of taboo with much laughter, Emmet slept in a palate on the floor in my room. In the night he cried and was cold so I got to snuggle in bed with him for hours!!He actually slept on me for awhile then in a ball in my arms. Such pure joy.

Day Two

Everyone got up and grabbed breakfast that Hannah and Kent had brought then Scott and Joel and I went on a short hike. It was beautiful and fun.

Back at the condo, we packed up the leftover sandwiches for a picnic lunch and loaded up to cars and drove down to Dillon lake to the day camping area. We spent the day there picnicking, playing on the beach, rafting in the air mattress and paddle boarding. Emmet stripped naked and played in the water giggling for hours. It was a very relaxing enjoyable afternoon.

On the way back to the condo we split up and some of us stopped at whole foods to do for the annual cooking contest. Each meal is prepared by a different couple and we rate the meal need in a rubric. So night one was Hannah and Kent. They made delicious pizza and salad. We then sat around the table singing mostly Beatles songs with Joel accompanying us on the ukelele. Followed by a round of Cards Against Humanity and much laughter. And an early bedtime for all.

Emmet slept most of the night in his bed but we did snuggle a bit before waking up all the way.

Day Three

Day Three started with an amazing breakfast prepared by Molly and Joel. They made grilled French toast kabobs, grilled fruit, bacon, and veggie quiche. And Nutella mocha coffee that was unbelievable!

After breakfast was a whole family hike on burro trail which was a trail along a babbling Brook. Emmet walked much of it but wanted to play one two three swing with Joel and Scott over and over.

The hike was followed by ice cream on main Street then a nap. The kids played spike ball and we napped. Then it was Leah and Dave’s night to cook. They made delicious Thai sandwiches with fancy sauce and veggies.

After dinner Hannah and Kent Scott and I say in the hot tub awhile then the family played A board game. Randomly, a fix came up to the door if the condo and profit would have come in if we’d opened the door.

. All weekend there were many moments of sweet interactions and conversations.

Emmet had such a great time being in all the attention he got. He counted everything in the condo (he counted to 13 skipping 7 and 8), named event in the room ( never could figure out Molly’s name and for some reason he stopped eating grandma this weekend and called me “other Papa”. He also showed it knowing all his letters. He went to bed early for naps and bedtime and was pretty much an angel.

We all got our Henry time in too. Henry’s tummy bother him write a bit and we decried it was the altitude (which also briefly got Joel and me).

It was lovely to get to know Molly and to see how much she and Joel like/love each other. They’ve been dating about 9 months so it was awesome to finally meet her. She’s a sweetheart and a keeper.

We got up the last day and packed up. Scott and I made it meal which turned out great but almost killed us with the sugar content. We made parfait Buddha bowls, caramel macchiatos, and cinnamon rolls.

So in case you are wondering, Joel and Molly won, followed by Leah and Dave, then Kent and Hannah then us. It was almost directly proportional to the amount of time rack couple put into it.

It is always so sad to say goodbye after our great family times together. I cried when we said goodbye at Kent’s. We loved every minute and having Emmet ride both ways with us. I loved snuggling Emmet every morning.

One of our Homestead graduates had a baby and I got to be there! She had scheduled induction for a day I could n’t make then my phone rang at 730 am Thursday and it was Amber! She was crying big years of relief and joy that she’d fine into labor and was being admitted.

I arrived about 8. Amber had already had her epidural so she was just chilling. The doctor checked her and she was at a 4 so I figured it would be awhile. She was at a 7 at about 930 and by 10 when they moved Amber around, they checked and she was at 8 or 9 so they called the doctor. The doctor came and they started bringing stuff into the room and the next thing you know they said “we’re having a baby!”.

The doctor asked if it’s hold one leg and Amber say up and pushed the times and bloop! Out came sweet baby Jakayla! God is so good and modern medicine is pretty amazing too! They let Amber cut the cord herself and then put naked baby on Ambers tummy and left her there and everyone left the room to let them bond. They didn’t do all the checking and measuring until after that.

The wiggle ready of the day I couldn’t quit crying. It just so beautiful and special to witness.

I have more time now so I get to go see my babies about every two to three weeks. I treasure my time with them! Mom went with me for my June visit which was awesome as she made the drive go faster and was a bit help with the babies. At that time Emmett was saying a lot of words and he said grandma twice! He lived giving Henry kisses, checking on him, and reading books to him. Art one point Emmet laid in his toddler bed and wanted Henry in the crook of his arm, all the stuffed animals and then and books to read to Henry. Henry lived it too! He kicked his little legs and cooed! Then Emmet wanted me in the bed too! For the first time, Emmet cried when we left.

This time, Emmet was saying short sentences and communicating his wishes clearly. He could say a bunch of letters and colors and sing the ABC song. He sang the eeieeiooo part of Old Macdonald. He pointed at the upper part of my breast and I swear he said, “Is that your Boob?”. Henry giggles and cooed and doesn’t like to fall asleep. Emmet finally had a good appetite. We went out to eat and other than accidentally doing his water, he did great! He ate all his food! When Henry fussed ai, Leah just plugged him right on in the mushroom of the restaurant. I was very proud of her. Leah is such a good mom.

I am so happy to have the availability to go see Emmet and Henry and Leah so often.

July:

Last Friday night the Homestead girls came over for a sleepover! It was so much fun! The bathtub at Homestead is broken so the girls took turns soaking in our giant tub. We ate lots of fun food and did our nails and had a dance contest that turned into a rap contest. Deb came over for awhile and we all just chatted and enjoyed each other’s company. It was nice enough to sit out on the deck in the thing and the morning. We missed Andrea and Sam who couldn’t come. In the morning we had coffee and cinnamon rolls. It was not to get too know the girls better, especially it to newest girls. I feel so honored to be a part of each of these guys’ journeys.

What an amazing and precious time away with Pastor Dave and Mel. We left early Thursday morning for a getaway weekend in Denver to see the Eagles in concert in Denver. The drive was a blast as we sang Eagles and other songs in harmony, of course, and stopped in Colby at the Oasis Qdoba for chips and Starbucks.

We arrived at our lovely Airbnb and rested and cleaned up before lyfting to Coors Field.

It was extremely hot and humid waiting for the concert but when you’re with friends it’s all ok.

Our seats were down on the field up fairly close. Caroline Jones opened and was quite enjoyable then Jimmy Buffet put on a fun show. But the Eagles were amazing!! We stood up and sang every word to every song. Our new friend Cecilia joined us in our harmonies. We even got some high fives from nearby folks. I don’t know how to put into words how talented the musicians were and how much we all enjoyed it. Dave said he cried several times. I’m not a super experienced concert goer but it was the best I’ve sent for sure.

Friday morning Dave and I went for a short walk in the neighborhoods near our Airbnb because we woke up early. Then icing on the cake, we met these beautiful people for breakfast!

We ate at a hip vegan breakfast place, adventurous for us. It was surreal to see our kids on this trip. Such s blessing.

After breakfast we all rested then Dave and I had a deep several hour long convo. So good to get to know our precious friends even better on this trip. And to thoroughly enjoy life with them.

Dave and Mel and I went on a hot, fruitless walk looking for a thrift stores in the afternoon while Scotty napped. So many homeless people in downtown Denver.

Our evening was perfect. Hannah and Kent recommended a restaurant about 30 miles away situated atop rolling mountains with a view for dinner. It was an open air cidery serving yummy burgers and ribs and fries. We sat inside and out and chatted, laughed and partook.

After dinner we happened upon the 16th street outdoor mall and enjoyed gelato in the lovely evening before heading back to our home away from home.

And then more 70’s music and some worship practice and fellowship on the car ride home.

This beautiful friendship promises many more trips and adventurers and precious memories to come.

I am not even sure how to capture how special my celebration party was to me in words. I didn’t take any pictures, just saved a few others took! This was my 3rd (?) annual birthday party I’ve thrown for myself. Each year I am so blessed by who comes. This year we had so much more to celebrate! In addition to it being our anniversary (34 years!), we hadn’t done much for Scott’s birthday so we added those events. Then my retirement and beating cancer and you have yourself a celebration!

I created an event on facebook and invited tons of people. I sent an email to all of Eisenhower, the school social workers, all of Courser Lapo, and invited all of Homestead and our Bible Study. I would have invited all of TRU also but didn’t figure out how. It was hard to cut it off because I have so many people in my life who mean so much to me! I was a little worried as the date got closer as I had so many who said they couldn’t come due to other commitments.

But the party had a wonderful turn out and I was so blessed. There were at least representatives from all the groups I belong to. Leah and her family came for the day (so precious to me) and it was amazing to walk around with Henry introducing him to all and even having many hold him and cuddle him! And watching Emmet interact with all the adults, relatives, people he didn’t know, and the kids. He came up for love and hugs and sat on my lap many times throughout the party. He played with 3 year old Ziana, letting her pull him around in the wagon.

Larry and Jo also represented the family. Tracy and Dave and Lori and Lee and Scott and their spouses from school came, and later Helen. All of the Homestead girls came which meant so much to me. They looked so beautiful and dressed up! And Deb and Dacia.

Pastor Dave and Mel came (PD became my door greeter!), Chad and his family, Pittenger’s, Fred and his fam, all from TRU came.

Mary and Jon represented Bible study. Jesi and Kim came from Courser Lapo. My sweet friend Pam came. And Crystal. All in all there were about 60 people or more! We ate and drank and chatted and enjoyed! The weather was beautiful so people were able to group up around the table outside, on the sofas on the deck and on the driveway near where Scott was barbecuing. And also inside around a puzzle, around the table, and the island. And the kids played quietly on the video games in the new room.

So many people said they wanted to come and weren’t able so maybe we will have a repeat or a half birthday or find many other reasons to celebrate. Thank you to all who came and anyone I didn’t mention! I love all of you!

Yesterday we woke up and ate our pastries and coffee in the room then took a lift to El Mercado, the Mexican market. We shopped and bought a couple presents and a backpack for me for the way home. I bought a couple of miniatures for my box and mom bought a cross. We also bought some pretty bracelets.

We ate at Mi Tierra even though we weren’t very hungry.

Then we hit the pool of course, then I took a long walk all around the Riverwalk. While I was walking, Leah FaceTimed so I got lost. But we keep chatting and the next thing I knew I was at the hotel!

We got gussied up and headed out for dinner. We punted the wheelchair and made the mama hoof it. We sorta figured out that the gps takes you street level so when it says you’ve arrived you go down to the Riverwalk and you are somewhat close. Much easier to do without the wheelchair.

Dinner was at Pasaeanos Italian restaurant on the Riverwalk. By on the Riverwalk I mean on it. The ducks came up and ate out of mom’s hand. Also the pigeons and sparrows.

That belly is from all this food. Lol.

After dinner we took a guided boat ride around the whole Riverwalk. Here are the best photos.

It really is gorgeous. Mom hiked all the way back to the hotel. By hiking I mean snail walking with lots of poignant sighs. God bless her. We hit our hotel room every night by the late hour of 9. I’m not complaining.

Today, our last day, we got up and went directly across from our hotel to the shops at La Villita. We went in one shop and hit gold. Mom spent a pretty penny and I jackpotted a skirt and bracelet. Then We hit the pool again, yippee! I’m brown again! Then we cleaned up, checked out, ate some more, topped it off with ice cream (ice cream makes her happy)

And now we are waiting to leave for the airport.

It’s another awesome trip in the memory books for us two.

It was time for a little vacay. Mom and I haven’t been on our annual trip in awhile so we booked a trip to stay on the San Antonio Riverwalk.

We flew out of Manhattan Sunday afternoon.

Here we are freakishly early for our flight as that is how we roll. When it was time to board, there were 10 people or so there and she called out, “Priority Ticket holders” then one right after the other, “Group 1, Group 2, Group 3, Group 4, Group 5, Group 6”. It was pretty funny. Then the pilot said, “We are first in line for take off” when there are probably only 1 or 2 flights out of Manhattan in a 24 hour period! Our flights were short and uneventful and we lyfted to the Hotel Contessa arriving around 10 pm.

So after a good night sleep, we ventured out to find a recommended restaurant nearby. And got hopelessly lost on the riverwalk (which was beautiful and amazing albeit extremely confusing). We got back up on the street and found our restaurant. Boy did that coffee and food taste great! The panederia was a similar style to the restaurant Chip and Joanna opened in Waco. I ordered a bacon, egg and black bean croissant.

Mom got a ham and cheese torte. We finished and made our way back to the hotel, and got lost yet again. WAAAAAY too much walking for the Mama.

Next stop: the top floor outdoor pool, near heaven.

After the pool, a nice rest in the room and then drinks in the lobby of our beautiful hotel.

Had to cut her off because Mom was loopy after half. And because we are problem solvers, we rented a wheelchair so Mom didn’t have to walk all around.

But of course, we got lost yet again trying to find our restaurant. And once again hit gold with the Iron Cactus.

We had the most amazing queso dip and salsa and the El Agave drink with strawberry was AMAZING! It was kinda hilarious when they brought our actual dinners.

How in the world would we possibly eat all that? We boxed it up and set out for the hotel and of course, got lost again. Writing this is making getting lost so often seem funny which is helping because it isn’t funny when it is happening! I’m trying to cut down on the cursing and getting lost is not helping!

We took some nice pics of the riverwalk on the little island near our hotel (turns out it is a famous island which made us part of the tour for all the boats passing by).

This morning we got up and ate the pastries we bought at yesterday’s paneria. Mine was chocalate shake something which was chocolate cream filled and really really good. We took a short jaunt on the streets (and didn’t get lost!) to the shops on the riverwalk. I bought a super cute pink top and wild capri leggings at Macy’s

and a super cute sort of flowery jacket and a white top at American Eagle Outfitters (actually mom sprung for that part). Then another trip to the pool, found it closed, but made our way to the hotel pool next door for some more sunshine. We made friends with some folks from Alaska and a couple from Nebraska.

We rested and took a lyft to a salon about 10 minutes away. Mom got a pedi and I got a mani. The lady had 45 years experience and she was meticulous! Best mani I ever had. The Lyft driver asked us the last song we heard that we liked and we told him we listen to contemporary Christian. He put on So Will I and then Good Good Father and we proceeded to sing together on the ride!

We rested back at the hotel then went along the street to another recommended restaurant, Boudro’s.

Yes, we did get briefly lost on the way there. Did I mention that when we can’t find an elevator, we have to have mom get up and walk up stairs and find a kind soul to help carry the heavy wheelchair up and down and across? Haven’t had any trouble finding kind souls yet. Tonight it was a homeless guy so we gave him a little cash.

Dinner was very good. We got smart this time and shared. We ordered the prickly pear margueritas which were fabulous! and the filet and lobster tails.

Wow! So yummy! We did NOT order the table side made guac but I had to show you.

And our friends from the pool popped by just in time to help us eat our flan for dessert! They were so nice, she a high school counselor and he a middle school social studies teacher in Lincoln. So we had no shortage of things to talk about. Then they pushed mom in her chair back to the hotel, Praise Jesus!

Am also enjoying my time at the hotel just hanging out. Did yoga tonight, practicing our songs for church, did a mindful master class, and of course, massive amounts of novel reading. I am sure that eating and drinking and getting lost are all on the agenda for tomorrow. Not in that particular order. The drinking generally occurs AFTER the getting lost.