dianegclark

Scott is my hero. Leading worship is not for wimps. It is so much harder than people realize.

Scott and I just started singing worship after doing it a couple of times before without Dave. Travis puts the songs up on Worship Planning.com by Tuesdays every week. Right now he is way ahead. I print out the PDF’s or grab them out of my notebook and put them in order. Scott and I both try to listen and sing along in our cars a couple of times a week. Scott has only been singing with the worship team for a couple of months. He listens to secular music so often times, he’s never sung the songs before and maybe only heard them once or twice. I’ve been singing with Dave for a year and a half now so I know most of the songs well. My part, anyway.

The band plays through the songs (without keyboards) in Travis’ garage on Thursday nights. Dave comes over to our house and Scott and I and now Labarbara and Darryl and I sing through the songs over and over til we get the nuances and harmonies. Dave will have us get in a circle where we can hear each other and see each other’s mouths. Dave gives great instruction and tips and encouragement. We decide who is singing when and where to build the songs up. This rehearsal takes anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half.

On Saturdays, Travis and the guys do all the set up. We pick up Mom and drive out to TRU. It takes quite awhile to do the sound checks to get the balance out in the auditorium and the sound coming to us through the monitors right. Then we pray and go through the songs one by one. The band, the person putting up the words and Scott, have to figure out how many times we are going to go through the choruses, the verses, the bridges, and lock down who is doing where and when. This is hard to remember and keep track of. Especially for Scott since, as I said, he hasn’t sung these songs much. This rehearsal generally takes about an hour and a half.

Our band is amazing. Darren, the drummer, drives from Topeka. Josh has three kids under the age of 4. Mom is 88 years old. Travis works full time and has a busy family. They are committed and talented. They never mess up. It is a blessing when Bobby is able to join us as well. We love that Lababara and Darryl are singing with us now. We like to joke about the average age of the worship leaders. We have a lot of years but not a lot of years on a worship team. The instrumental band is way more experienced.

Sunday morning comes. We wake up never knowing how our voices will sound. Scott has a cocktail of musinex, halls throat lozenges and tea with honey to get his voice right. I have allergies but since I only do back ups, the quality of my voice isn’t as crucial as Scott’s now that he is doing the lead-in verses solo. We warm up in the car. People riding with us have to put up with all the strange sounds we make to get our voices ready.

We arrive to Tru by 8:15. Sound checks and fine tuning on the sound again. Pray. Then go through the songs. It is almost a given that this rehearsal will be rough. The things we had down all week, either the melodies or the timing, or the voices, something goes wrong at this rehearsal. Almost always. I have learned to roll with it.

Then the break. Go to the bathroom as many times as possible while trying to socialize with people we haven’t seen all week and try not to think about the worship part. Then at 9:27 we gather just off stage and hold onto each other and pray. We pray to be a blessing. We pray that God is glorified.

Then it’s time. People are just coming in. We start the first song. God always, always comes through and we sound pretty good. I try to get my mind off of where I’m holding the mic and how my body is moving and am I supposed to sing this part and oh, there’s Vinnie, and why aren’t people singing, there is a new family, and try to think about God and the words and His goodness. The auditorium is filling up. I can usually feel Him at this point. Then I see someone with their eyes closed, worshipping, maybe lifting their hands, maybe lost in the words. And I feel Him more. It is still a fight to stay out of my head and let myself get lost in the worship. Sometimes Scott messes up, sometimes he nails it, I often sing in the wrong places, but I remind myself it doesn’t matter. God loves it. People are blessed. If we can get them just a tiny bit closer to His presence then it is all worth it.

Then almost before it starts, it seems, its over. And on to the next week we go.

I’ve been a Christ follower for 35 years. Just as I get thinking I understand His ways, He takes me deeper, reveals more about myself, Himself, and His plans for me. As I learn to follow and trust and stay out of His way as he reveals more and more in me, He heals me, awakens dreams in me, allows me to shine. His story.

Since last year being diagnosed and battling cancer, retiring, God has taken me on a wild journey. A journey of healing and hope, of change and growth. First as a therapist, then as a singer turned professional artist, and as a woman.

Being a trauma therapist is amazing and overwhelming. It can be terrifying. But it is also so inspiring. I am filled with awe and wonder as I experience God healing people’s hearts and souls through the words and compassion He pours into and through me. To be able to be fully present for people so they can connect at a deeper soul level with me and with God requires vulnerability. To go deeply into people’s pain and brokenness and fears has caused me to go deeper into my own brokenness. I have had to allow myself to be fully vulnerable with God so He could reveal my fears and self doubts and insecurities left from the brokenness of my childhood. He wanted to heal those parts of me so that I could dream and shine, to be used as a therapist. But also so that I could allow Him to take me places I never knew possible.

I am part of a huge movement of God. Midwest Meets Manhattan is just a small part of what God is revealing in and to each one of us, Dave, Chad, Scott and myself. He has plans so far and above anything we could ever imagine. Dreams that will go far beyond our music. Using all of our gifts and talents, I believe the sky is the limit. It is so hard for me to believe that I sang on worldwide radio two days ago. But fame, wealth, this is only a tiny part of God’s plan. God is going to use all of this to spread hope and healing to the world. Our platform is sex trafficking. He has also called me to write a book. My involvement with Homestead is all a part of His plan. To hear the stories that scream to be told. The songs Chad is writing also scream to be heard, songs of healing and hope.

The first part of the journey involved slowing down. I wrote about this in an earlier post. Learning to be fully present in each moment and let God lead the next was step one. To learn to let go of my own agendas for each day. To be fully present in order to go deeper with others. The cancer was a part of this for me. Becoming a therapist. Learning to step out in faith as my fears and doubts about my own skills came to the surface. God showed me even more that He is in control, that He longs to write His story in me and through me to others. It is not my skills that heals people, but my ability to be vulnerable, my ability to love deeply and compassionately. By allowing God to love me this way is the only way I can love others in ways that allows true healing this deep.

From the very beginning of the journey of singing, God has revealed my insecurities, my fears, my anxieties and taught me to trust in Him. Standing on a stage praising Him is unbelieveably terrifying and gratifying. It is such an honor and a blessing. Yet so humbling. I have tried forcing things and had to lay myself down again and again. He comes through every single time. I have seen Him awaken dreams in myself and in Scott that we never ever thought possible. It took humbling myself and getting out of His way. It took facing my fears and self doubts.

I began the book, Whispers of Rest, shared with my by a friend, several months ago. God showed me how I am His beloved. He took me to places that I never let Him go before, places I didn’t even know I still carried fears. He showed me that He loves me so much, just as I am. That He will use my brokenness to heal others. That only by laying down these fears will He take me forward. His story, His voice is in me longs to be told. He is pulling all the parts of me together, singing, writing, loving, listening, healing, dreaming, and He is using me. He has only begun to reveal all He has planned for me, for us.

Whispers of Rest takes all the brain research that I have learned so much about, that resonates with everything that I believe, meditation, scripture and prayer and brings it all together. I added meditation to my self healing about two years ago. I use all of these things with clients, with the Homestead girls and for myself. The author, Bonnie Gray, pulled it all together. I send the verses to a friend in prison and she has found healing. I have purchased over 10 copies and have given them to others as led. My clients are finding healing through it.

Part One is Being the Beloved. It made me face the deep question, “Am I enough?” That I have wrestled with all my life. Having heard whispers from the enemy, from my past, deep inside myself that I was not enough, all my life, I needed these to be revealed in me to find healing. It hurts to bring these fears to the surface but is so necessary. God showed me through this book, stories of those in the Bible that also felt they weren’t enough yet He used, that I am enough. That people connect with my weaknesses. To love is to be vulnerable. To Him and to others. When I am still and rest in Him, He heals me, helps me face my fears and heals me. He reassures me that in Him, I am more than enough. I am His Beloved. I find my identity and strength in Him alone and not in what the world thinks of me. I am enough just as I am. I do not have to strive to do or say or be anything but what I am. This is what part 2 showed me. I can simply be and then choose joy and peace. He will hold my emotions when I take them and leave them with Him. To simply let Him love and comfort me.

Part three is Dreaming in Him. God knows the dreams in my heart that I didn’t even know I had. He showed me that when He first called me on the stage to sing. I have had this silent dream for years and years. And now the dream to write. I have wanted to be a writer since I was a very little girl. Part 4 is healing the brokenness that had to happen for me to be able to let Him dream through me. He showed me that He understands my fears and this allows me to step into the unknown He has for me, the to face uncertainty, to let go of control. The next part is the Daring. He is my courage and strength. Part Six is Shining. God’s love is shining and new in me. He created me to sparkle in my own unique way to share with the world.

So pray for me as I go on this journey as a therapist, a novel writer, a professional background vocalist. Pray for me to allow God to continue to heal me and use me and awaken His dreams and plans in me. To shine His love, His healing, His hope, peace and joy into this broken world.

This has been a surreal experience. Dave and Scott and I left Manhattan early Sunday afternoon after TRU.

We flew out of Manhattan into Dallas, then Nashville. We are staying at the Gaylord Opryland Resort Hotel. Whaaaaat? It is like the San Antonio Riverwalk but all indoors. Can’t wait to try out the hot tub, sauna, water park and beach, all indoors! We walked about a mile inside to our rooms. Scott and I are staying in a suite with a Murphy bed! Kid you not! We were all exhausted and Dave had a plugged ear so dinner night one was sandwiches and chips from a little shop overlooking the fountains and waterfalls in the lobby.

Day 1 has been in the studio. The studio is in Sal’s basement. It is crazy to imagine that Carrie Underwood and Kellie Clarkson have recorded in this very spot. It is homey and luxury and high tech all at the same time. There is a full stocked kitchen and a full screen home movie theater to hang out in.

We started with Sal sharing the tracks he had created from the rough tracks Chad sent. Sal has already created the most beautiful instrumentals that fully capture the essence and feeling of the songs Chad wrote. We were so amazed as we listened. Chad cried.

Dave sang first, laying the melodies. It sounds so amazing and pure. It’s impossible not to get extremely excited about this.

We finished at the studio and returned to the resort hotel. I have to admit that when we walked through with our entourage, Scott and Dave in their sunglasses, Bobbye in her gold coat, 6’4″ Chad with his boots and cowboy hat and Cody our cinematographer, we looked like stars. People were looking at us.

That night we met Brian Mays, our publicist, and ate dinner with him at a Mexican restaurant. The guys met and talked logistics while Bobbye, Cody and I mostly stuffed our faces. Brian has worked with so many stars and people we have heard of. The music business is very different from the inside. There is so much to consider and it is very hard to make money. It really is a business, not all fun and games. I’m not saying I’m not having fun, but this is going to be a hard ride. We all need to keep our feet on the ground and our eyes on God.

I slept great every night. Our room is a suite with a couch and Murphy bed, table and chairs, adjoining the other room. Here are walking tours of the hotel:

Day three we woke up and walked with Dave. I got so lost in this place looking for Dave and Scott. I found a cool older garden though. We walked and drank coffee then got ready and off for the first gig. I have to tell you a funny part. We only have 5 seats in the SUV so our cinemetographer has to sit in the way back. You should have seen the faces of the valets when we opened the back hatch and he got in or out. We joked that we should have put duct tape on his mouth and tied him up one of the times.

The first event was at CCM magazine. We just walked in, they set up, sound checks and performed for the taping.

We returned to Sal’s and Bobbye and I made a mall and food run then we all gathered around Sal’s kitchen table for Chinese food. We have an amazing rapport and it feels like family to sit around and joke and talk and eat with these people. The power was out at the studio so we didn’t get to hear the final rough tracks of the recordings til later.

Back to the hotel, rest then freshen up and a quick rehearsal and good talk in the room. It is becoming apparent that the Homestead Ministries, She’s On Her Own, and raising awareness for sex trafficking is a big part of the brand and plan. There are some really big, giant ideas flying around. We are trying to not limit God because we feel something really huge could come out of this.

We walked down to the bottom of one part of the hotel and there was the radio station WSM. Devon O’Day was sitting in the bay window on the mic interviewing a comedian. It is a radio show that goes world wide on the internet and to 38 states on AM radio. The show airs from 3-6 daily. We went on a 5pm drive time. Bobbye and Cody did the taping and pictures from couches in the room. Devon started the interview with Dave and Chad, breaking for commercials and weather. When she said it was time to perform, I popped up from the couch and went to one of the mics. Devon asked who I was and Dave introduced me as Diane Clark, back ground vocalist. He also got to talk about Homestead, mentioned Samantha, and the song, She’s On Her Own, and sex trafficking. Devon talked about the cause and places trying to help and even talked about donating on Amazon Smile! God is so good.

Then we sang! I couldn’t hear myself well and skipped a few parts I wasn’t confident on but everyone, including Dave and Chad said we nailed it! It was so amazing! She took another break and asked if we wanted to do another song so Scott got to join us and we did “That’s Why I Like the Rain”. Dave also mentioned TRU and Chad got to talk about Ethos, his leather business. Really, it couldn’t have gone better overall.

After dinner at Crackerbarrell, Scott, Dave and Chad stayed up late to talk, make plans, and try to figure out what all God has in store. It could be way bigger than Midwest Meets Manhattan. For example, I am writing a book. There could be a music video coming. And possible a screen play. We know raising awareness for sex trafficking will be involved, and Homestead, and Sam’s story.

Bobbye, Cody and I sat in the hot tub then watched TV and checked the social media. They put me as administrator for the facebook and Instagram accounts and I am all over it! Its fun!

Today we got up and got ready and piled into the car yet again and headed off for the TV appearance. There has been lots of Nashville freeway time but lots of fun and laughter in the car.

We got the the station and were showed to the green room. They aren’t green, BTW. Dave and Chad had makeup put on and then the mics wired onto them. Our publicist arrived. Then into the studio. They were interviewed on set then played live with tracks to tape performing two Christian songs since this was a Christian radio show called Bridges on a Christian network.

After TV, we went to lunch at Longhorn steakhouse where Chad, Brian, and Dave shared memories of spending time with famous Christian artists.

We said goodbye to Brian, then Chad, Bobbye and went to the hotel thinking we were waiting to Uber to the airport. Our flight got cancelled so we we scrambled and got a new flight and a room. We got up really early to fly home.

It still hasn’t sunk in that all this is happening. I sang on worldwide radio!

I have recently started using essential oils and really like them. Over the holiday, my sister in law who sells them asked if I wanted to join her. So I did! Since then, I have been researching and learning. I’m so excited to add more and more of them to my life.

I have a therapist friend who says that many of her clients are able to stop taking their perscription meds after finding the right oils. I use oils for grounding, calming, and sleep. I diffuse them at home for us and for the dogs and also in the office for clients. I put lavender on my feet and use grounding oils in my diffuser and as perfume.

I am really excited to start using oils in my bath and beauty routines. Scott’s too! I have experienmented with adding them to Epsom salts for the bath and in my lotions. I can’t wait to use them in my shampoos, face treatments, and daily beauty routines. I am getting Scott some essential beard oil, shampoos, and oils for hair growth to replace the nasty hair growth products he currently uses. Also gonna get that snoring cured and maybe even his tinnitus!

And let’s talk moods. Oils are for much more than just calming. There are oils for confidence, motivation, wakefulness, happiness and focus. I’m so excited to try them!

I also plan to explore oils for our health and fitness. There are oils that help with breathing, energy, and for recovery and sore muscles. Young Living sells supplements that I will try too.

My introduction kit also has samples of the cleaning products I can’t wait to try.

I am impressed with the quality of Young Living products and the research that goes into them. I am learning details of the benefits to our health and well being and I can’t wait to share more with all of you!

I am not much of a sales person so don’t worry about me putting this on facebook or pushing these products. I truly think they will sell themselves. And as I get more experienced, knowledgeable and excited, I will share all that with you! I figure that the blog is the least intrusive way to tell you about the oils because you can click on the links or not!

Here are my next purchases and uses:

Digize for digestion. I plan to add it and lemon oil to water and teas. Also peppermint. These can also be rolled directly onto the tummy.

Progressence plus–natural hormones. This oil can help with the appearance of wrinkles and to balance hormones.

Valor and RC for my snoring husband. I’ll let you know if it works!

Motivation Oil for both of us.

Sclaressence and ylang ylang for libido.

Stress away, frankinscense and lavender for anxiety and stress. I’m excited to try the stress away bath bombs and the lavender bath gel (although you can make your own of these products).

Super B supplement for energy and salique essence supplements for weight control. I’m gonna try cinnamon, orange, and vanilla for cravings. Can’t wait to try the salique gum. Gonna try thieves in my tea.

I’ll put lemongrass and peppermint in my morning bath to wake me up.

Thieves roll on my feet nightly for immune support.

Lavender for facial toning and hair. Also lemon on the roots to manage oil. Gonna add spearmint or rosemary in my shampoos and conditioners. Also frankincense for wrinkles.

Diffuse lavender and cedar wood for sleep. I already put lavender lotion on my feet at night.

Eventually will get breathe again, RC, motivation, en-r-gee, lemon, and peppermint for workouts. And Panaway for sore muscles.

I’ve been putting tea tree oil in our laundry soap to freshen towels and remove the musty smell.

Rose water in a spray bottle to freshen and set make up and as perfume.

Gonna get our romance on with ylang ylang, cinnamon and orange in the diffuser, ylang ylang, release and joy in the bath.

For overall happiness, valor on the wrists, joy over the heart, harmony on the trunk, and white Angelica on the crown of the head-all applied topically.

So let me know if you are interested and I will be happy to place an order for you! Happy oiling!

2018 was a big year for me. If you know me, you know I don’t do change. Same husband, job, house, church for 30 years or more. This has been a year of change for me. This time last year, I had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. It is hard to even wrap my brain around this. There is nothing like cancer to cause you to reevaluate life. It caused me to think about what is really important in life. For me, this means people. And rest. In 2018, God has taught me that being present in this moment is important. Being present in this moment and let God lead the rest. I have given him my daily to do list. If you know me, you also know how big this is for me.

2018 was about change but also about growing my faith. God is so good. His goodness overwhelms me. Cancer was hard to go through but His goodness and love for me were so apparent. My faith grew and I grew. He brought me through this and healed me completely. I had a completely clean slate at 6 months. It has been a hard year for health issues overall, but He continues to be faithful. Cancer definitely brought about big life changing decisions.

Retiring from USD 383 was a huge change. It was hard and so necessary. My ability to handle stress has changed so much along with my appreciation for sleep and rest. It was hard to leave my Eisenhower family and friends and I still miss them terribly. But I don’t miss the job, the stress, the frustrations, the pace. I can’t even imagine how I got up at 5:30 every morning and hit the ground running by 7:15 not stopping until at least 3. Now I start my day no earlier than 8:30, most days waking up without setting an alarm. And I have 4 day weekends every week.

The pace of being a therapist is a better match for me. I’m not saying that it isn’t challenging or exhausting because many days it is. But it is amazing. And right where God wants me to be. I love being able to pray with clients and share what He has done for me and all He can do for them. He loves through me. Connections heal people so it has been incredibly meaningful and inspirational to be a part of His healing for people. I have had to learn to trust His plan for each client but also for the ebb and flow of practice overall. I lean into Him hard for all of it. I am trying to be only as busy as He wants me to be. And of course, I love doing clinical supervision. I have a group of 4 ladies I meet with weekly and another gal I meet with about monthly. The plan is for me to move more into this role going forward.

It has been a year of growth and change for us with TRU church also. This year God did such cool things in Scott having him be a part of the board and the plans to build a building for TRU. And to bring him onto the worship team! I am still blown away with gratitude and joy when I peer across Dave and there is Scott singing his heart out on the stage with us. It is fun to practice here with Scott and Dave and to sing in the car with Scott. Our friendship with Dave continues to grow and we are so very blessed to have he and Mel in our lives.

Which leads me to MMM. I have always said that God knows my heart. Proverbs 3:5-6 says if we delight in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our hearts. God knew that I love to sing. My heart is so full of excitement and gratitude that we get to be a part of Midwest Meets Manhattan. What an unbelievable opportunity to sing professionally. We are just on the cusp on possibilities with these amazing people and I can’t wait to see what God is going to do with this.

Homestead continues to be a big part of my life. This has been a tremendous year as we continue to pour into the girls He brings through Homestead. Whether they stay and complete the program and graduate or move on, He plants and we water. I continue to be so blessed knowing every one of the women in Homestead. Right now, we have a whole group of gals ready to graduate and many of our current graduates have stayed in town and are part of my life.

Grand babies. This year our smart, precious Emmet turned 2 and we added adorable spunky Henry to the family. I love every moment I get to spend with these boys and their parents. I love having them live so close that they can come here and I can go spend a day whenever I can. Retirement has made it so that I rarely have to go more than a month without seeing the boys and Leah. Love them so much.

Hannah has continued in PT school and plans to marry Kent whom we love. And Joel started dating Molly, whom we also love and are looking forward to getting to know more.

Having Fridays and Mondays off has given me precious time to rest and to enjoy life and friendships. I have added meditation and essential oils to my daily regiment. I continue to work out and set fitness and health goals. I get to spend really good quality time each morning in gratitude, worship and prayer.

I am so excited to see what 2019 brings.

We were so blessed to have Joel join the worship team for a Sunday. My heart is filled with joy. although reluctant, Hannah and Kent came and watched rehearsal Saturday and stayed for the whole thing. It is a blessing to be able to share what means so much to us with them. Leah and the boys went to a rehearsal a few weeks ago. This weekend, Josh was needed on the Westview team and Joel agreed to play bass. We were all impressed at how easily he jumped in having never even heard the songs before! And to top it off, Chad was here this weekend and we got to sing Be Still! So Joel not only joined the worship team for a day, he got to play with Midwest Meets Manhattan! Such a blessing.

We got all the kids home this Christmas but not all on Christmas Day. Joel got in at midnight Christmas Eve so Scott and I spent a quiet evening at home waiting. It was so good to see him! He has a different haircut than ever (funny story, he went to a barber shop called Fade Up then got surprised when they gave him a fade). We stayed up and chatted with him and then slept in late Christmas Day. Hannah and Kent wanted to stay with Garrett, Kent’s twin on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day then they drove here and arrived Christmas evening. Leah and Dave spent Christmas Eve and day at home with their kids to start new traditions. They arrived mid afternoon the 26th.

How we love having the mad, messy chaos of having all the kids home! We did a big puzzle, played games, made meals, and ate, ate, ate. Emmet loves his aunts and uncles but particularly Uncle Kent. Emmet requested songs and Kent was more than happy to play them. Joel played quite a bit with the boys too. This morning Emmet tried everything to get Joel to wake up and play with him. Henry seemed most attached to Hannah.

I think pictures do a better job of telling the story of Christmas 2018.

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I went with 6 TRU church members to minister to the inmates at Ellsworth Correctional facility today.

We woke up super early to arrive at 7am. I though I’d be more nervous than i was going in, like I was visiting my friend in Lansing. But the check in process felt more like an airport check and the guards were kind. And only one door slid shut behind us.

We walked several buildings over to a chapel and listened to an awesome worship band. There were three singers and two guitar players. The bass player and key boards were awesome! They scatted and improvised. Very enjoyable. Later, the keyboardist told me he did music before he went to prison and had a recording. Great guy.

We spoke at the church service. All week I prayed about what to say and God said just to tell them what He has been up to with me lately, how when I’m having my coffee with Him every day, I tell Him all I’m grateful for then lay down all my struggles. He knows me and He speaks to me deep into my hurts and doubts and insecurities. So I told the guys that God knows them too, and He sees them there, and He loves them and He longs to spend time with them. I encouraged them to let Him into their deep spaces where He can minister to their pain and loneliness.

Chad’s message was really good too. He told more of his story of being in and out of prison and how he finally figured out how to make it, by pouring into others. He gave and invitation and three guys came up to us on our side immediately. One guy said he wanted to know Christ, a first timer. So I prayed with him and told him all he has to do is surrender his heart. One of the other guys asked for a blessing so I prayed with him and then asked him and the third guy to pour into the first timer and they said they would. Another guy came up to me and Erin and asked if we were moms. He asked for prayer as his 21 year old daughter wants nothing to do with him. We encouraged him not to give up praying and trying. Another guy asked me how to get close to God like I shared so I talked with him and prayed with him. The other TRU members prayed for several guys also.

Then we handed out gifts and shook hands. The guys lined up and came through our line like an assembly line in an organized fashion. We first went into a day room and guys came out of large bunk rooms that hold 88 guys each. They were in gray sweats and shorts and looked like they just crawled out of bed. They were so appreciative of the gifts boxes that we handed out. (These were supplied by others and were heavy and filled with shampoo and food treats). Many told us Merry Christmas or God Bless you and all shook our hands. Only a few didn’t look us in the eyes. Most had tattoos, guns, names, tears on their faces (meaning they have murdered). They were old, young, all different races, a huge variety of people.

Several inmates had dogs with them. Apparently they are the trainers for Cares, Inc. that trains dogs for disabled people. I asked one guy, as I was petting his gorgeous lab, if they get attached to the dogs then have to give them up. He said they get to meet the people and that makes it worth it. He said they have a graduation ceremony every 4 months. The guys also refurbish bikes for kids. They work on leather and learn other trades. Some have jobs within the walls that train them to work when they get out.

We also went to the minimum camp where the guys live in mobile homes and apartments. There are 95 guys who live there but only about 10 were at church. We did another little church service and spoke. Their worship was one song on a TV set. I recognized one young man whom I’ve known since he was a little boy in Manhattan. He was pleased to see me.

We also went to the cell blocks where the guys were locked down and released one floor at a time. Their cells with two inmates each were so tiny. Some did have TV’s and fans. But all the guys were very excited about the gifts. In these houses, more of the guys didn’t look at us and some seemed really down. All were respectful and said thank you or Merry Christmas.

As the day wore on, I got sad. I know that most of the guys are in there on drug charges or committed robbery or other lesser crimes for drugs. They would have been better served through treatment of some kind, or quality therapy. But as I shook hands, I couldn’t help thinking that some of these guys murdered, or raped, or hurt children. There are 915 men in Ellsworth. I think he said 15% or so are life without parole. 50% have no one to visit them. Right around 10,000 men and women are incarcerated in Kansas alone right now. Most of the men we talked to, including our friend Chad, have been in and out several times. This system is very, very broken. That is no life, sitting in tiny cells with another human. Sitting around on hard tables watching one tv. Showering in an open shower. Eating and doing sleeping what you are told on someone else’s schedule. The guys in segregation are locked up 23 out of 24 hours. There were some guys in red jump suits at the church service, Chad said they were fro segregation. It is awesome that they get to have church in there. And there are Native American and other religious services. All looked poorly attended overall. And how many profess Christ while in there and then don’t follow him when they get out?

We were fed a sandwich and snack foods for lunch and handed out more gifts. We shook over 600 hands by the end of the day.

I truly hope we were a blessing to these men. If I’m invited, I will go again. I will continue to pray for them and I hope you will too.

Later: I keep reflecting and processing and returning to this blog to add more. I keep seeing the faces of the guys as we spoke, looking up to us, soaking up what we were saying, listening so intently and almost desperately to hear a message of hope. And the guys that ran up to us after, eager, open, reaching. I can’t really put it into words, but I keep seeing their faces. Erin had such good thoughts that she posted. I’ll copy it here:

A full day, a perspective changing day, a great day.

The morning and early afternoon hours of this day was spent with church friends at Ellsworth Correctional Facility. We attended 2 church services, spoke and handed out Christmas gifts to men who will spend Christmas behind bars.

As I looked at each of the 600+ men in the eye, the realization hit me that these are sons, brothers, fathers, grandpas, and husbands. These are living breathing human beings who God created and sent Christ for.

The experience of the day was brought full circle as I came home this afternoon to walk my dog, make dinner for my friends and family and spend time washing and lotion-ing their feet. We did our nightly devotion and my sweet husband and I tucked our kids into bed.

May we never take for granted our lives with those we love. May we never stop praying and lifting up those who search for hope.

Dave got us a gig on the road to lead worship at an outreach church in Garden City so yesterday he, Scott, and I headed out in the flat Kansas back roads for the four hour drive. We always have fun together but these two were in rare form. I wish you could have heard Dave’s reaction to driving behind a truck full of cows. First wet drops began hitting the windshield and Dave asked what it was. Then the smell happened. And the drops got larger. Dave figured out what it was ( cow pee) and started coming unglued and Scott could not stop giggling. By the time we got to Garden City the entire front of Dave’s car was covered in yellowish brown slime. He was just about unhinged. And later the smell of cow poo in the air. Even the flat barren landscape and the tiny towns had Dave exclaiming “How in the world could people live here!”. Over and over. And Scott giggling the entire time.

The singing itself was fun and the pie was delicious. We sang for a very small crowd there for “pie and praise”. We even did a song in Spanish. The missionaries talk went in a little long, ok, a lot long (1 1/2 hours) which just provided for lots of good teasing for how each other got through it after. At dinner the missionary asked me why I thought young people are leaving the church. I’m pretty sure I’m on his prayer list now.

After the concert a girl asked Scott if what we did was country music. He said , “we do both kinds of music, country and Western.”. He didn’t actually say that to her but I thought it was pretty funny.

We sang a lot in the car, of course. We sang the Bee Gees and the Eagles. And laughed. Dave and Scott did impressions. And every five minutes Dave said something about cow pee or how barren it was or how could people live out there.

I will attempt to put into words and pictures the experience I just had last night and over the last 6 weeks or so being a part of Midwest Meets Manhattan. My heart is so full right now.

History:

10 years ago, Dave and Chad had their last concert as CO3. They were a nationally recognized Christian band with songs high on the Christian charts. They were on TV, toured and played huge venues. Their band broke up for a variety of personal reasons as God worked in their hearts. Dave continued to sing and Chad continued to write music and both continued to dream and grow in their faith. Dave became a Pastor of TRU church. Chad Pastored a church also and grew his leather business and creative team. Two years ago, the two started talking again and Midwest Meets Manhattan was born. Earlier this year, Dave and Chad went to Nashville and recorded two original songs, Restored, and The Place. Their producer has 7 Grammies and produces for some really big names. We were so excited for them. In September, they pulled their band together and played a small concert in Arkansas. We made the trip and loved every minute. Dave scheduled the concert here in Manhattan at the Wareham.

Meanwhile, Scott and I continued to lead worship with Dave and grow even closer in friendship to him and to the TRU band whom we love so much. We are so honored to be a part of this group of people. Then Dave started talking about me singing back up. Dave is a dreamer and a talker (we love him) so about the 3rd time he said it, and when he said he had confirmed with Chad, it started to sink in. Then his original band backed out and he hired the TRU band to play with him.

Garage Band:

Dave started working with me on vocals and sent the playlist and I downloaded the songs and started working on my own. I always rehearse in the car where I can hear really well and also set up in the living room with my music stand and little beat box. It was hard work to hear the harmonies.

Rehearsing in the garage was such a blast. The band practiced in Travis’ garage. It was cold and dusty and loud. The guys drank beer with hot sauce in it and neighbors would stop by. We all laughed a lot and cussed a little ( I love Jesus but I cuss a little:) and sang and played and worked. It was gritty and real and so much fun.

The band set up a group in messenger for communication and joking around. Everyone has nick names and I found out last night my nickname all along has been “Dirty Diane”. Not sure exactly what it means but somehow it fits so well! Dave and I got quite a bit of teasing for being divas.

Josh, Bobby, Darryl, Travis

The Weekend:

The weekend itself had so much anticipation and excitement and it finally arrived. Friday I went down to the mall and got my nails done and had a chair massage. Friday night we went to KC for Dad’s 90th birthday celebration and got to see the grandkids and Leah and Dave, the nephews including Tim and meet Jon’s baby. When we arrived home, we officially met Chad for the first time. We already felt like we knew him from FaceTime conversations and all that Dave has said. To meet him in person was awesome. Scott was taking mom home and Chad was strumming Scott’s guitar when I came in. Dave knew how anxious I was feeling about singing with Chad so I hadn’t been in the house for 5 minutes when he had us start singing. He started with Be Still which is my favorite. Chad leads it so I get to sing the high harmony by myself. I gotta say it myself; we sounded so great together! His assistant recorded it. Chad said it was good!

Chad’s assistant, Bobbye stayed with us. We loved getting to know her, also. Such a special person.

Rehearsal:

Saturday’s rehearsal had been scheduled for evening but was moved to morning. I was so grateful as my anxiety was off the charts. I was really worried about singing harmonies with Chad. The band sounded so amazing. Rehearsal went well. Yes, I was doubling up on harmonies on a lot of songs, but both Chad and Dave reassured me. With Rehearsal out of the way, excitement replaced anxiety.

Day on the Town:

Saturday was fun and special, getting to know Chad and Bobbye, showing them around Manhattan, hanging out with Dave and Mel. Chad’s cinematographer, Cody, also a great person, joined us. We ate at Bluestem and shopped at Acme gifts and walked to the corner of campus for pics then drove them out by the stadium. Then Dave and Chad did a live segment in front of the Wareham. Then back home for rest.

Party at the Clarks

Saturday evening we had Dave’s family and the band over for BBQ. We had such a great time. Scott’s friends Jon and Anna joined us. We laughed and sang and ate and bonded. At one point we were all gathered around the kitchen island, Chad strumming Scott’s little beginner’s guitar and singing old ridiculous country songs. Scott knew every word. Chad and Scott’s grins are forever stuck in my head.

Sunday morning

The TRU service is a blur. I love worshipping with these guys and this morning we added Chad up there. It was special to have Scott’s friends Jon and Anna there for the first time. We did the worship songs from the concert set.

Attack of the Bad Attitude

I hate to include this but whenever I’ve had a really great God experience, Satan loves to attack my joy. When we went to the Wareham for our early afternoon sound check (which we waited around for and it never happened but it was cool to watch them setting up the sound system and stage), Dave told Scott he was going to be up there and sing back ups. I was filled with resentment that I had worked all this time and had to share the spotlite. I hate to even admit that I could be like this. I almost ruined the day for Scott. I gave it to God which is why I am including it in here as I will never put on a mask or pretend I’m not real. God ended up changing my heart as He always does and having Scott up there ended up being one of the most special parts of this experience. It was such a nifty trick. Dave was worried about his voice giving out. So when he struggled, he glanced back at Scott and Scott sang along. He sounds so much like Dave that no one knew. We got introduced as a couple.

Preparations and Primping

I was so excited to finally put on the dress I bought for the performance. I work hard to look good and it paid off. Bobbye did my makeup and Amy did my hair. We all ran around the Wareham and did sound checks and encouraged each other and took pics and just let the excitement build. As our friends came, we got to interact with them. It meant so much to me to have our close friends and family there to be a part of this. Dave and Chad got their hair done and I got to tell Scott that Amy was also going to do his hair. So funny.

The Performance

I got to hang out back stage with Dave and Chad while the opening act played. By God’s grace, I wasn’t even slightly nervous. Just ready. Excited but also sort of a surreal feeling. I waited side stage and Scott prayed for us. Jason was right there on the sound board. Then it was time. The video played and we stepped up and the band started. Huge sound and lights. Boom! Dreamer was the first song. Earlier this week I woke up singing Dreamer. I texted Dave and he had too. The lines of the song say, “Dreamer keep on dreaming, Singer keep on singing”. The sound was amazing. My voice joined the others and billowed out over the whole place. It was dark in the audience but I could see the faces all looking at us with joy and anticipation. My Homestead girls were in the front giving me signals and smiles and encouragement. I can’t even put into words what a blast it was. My all time favorite songs to sing were “Be Still” and “Love Will Keep Us Alive” because I feel the most confident on them and I get to sing my own harmony part and the harmonies are killer. I also really love the message of Be Still. I sing it every day on the way to work.

Go to the Midwest Meets Manhattan facebook page to hear more recordings of the concert.

Hearing the girls from Homestead give their testimonies and watching them hear the songs “She’s on Her Own” and “Restored” was really special. They did such a great job. It can’t be easy to get up in front of people and be so real. I feel like the concert was really affirming for them. Proceeds from the concert went to Homestead. It made the concert so much more special.

As the concert went on, I started to feel sad that it was going to end. And it was cold up there! I knew it would be over so quickly and it was. Then going out to the audience afterward and hugging everyone was awesome.

The Night Doesn’t End

We ended the night at IHOP eating and fellowshipping with the band. We listened to some of the recordings and laughed and chatted more. I don’t know when I’ve felt such a belonging. This is what TRU strives for and what God calls us to and creates us for. This, being a part of this band with these people, this is what made this whole experience so incredibly special for me. Knowing it doesn’t end, that I get to continue to sing with them each Sunday and that there could be future concerts and road trips, makes me so very happy. And all with Scott. My heart is full.