dianegclark

I started kickboxing at my gym quite awhile ago and loved it. Recently, I joined 9 Rounds. What a great work out! I love kicking and punching and the personal attention and positive atmosphere. It is high intensity and high energy. Just the way I like it.

Today I went with Kelly. Adam was the trainer. Melissa, one of the owners came to work out. I got a great workout!

Every work out is different but always challenging and always fun. I wish it was less expensive so everyone could join. But it’s worth it.

That peaked your interest.

Dave and Mel Airbnb their home often. They have an apartment to stay in for free but when it isn’t available, they stay with us. Who knew that adults could enjoy sleepovers as much as kids?

They came over on Friday afternoon. We made and ate tacos and sat around and talked.

Saturday morning, Dave and Mel were already up when I wandered out early to let Rex out. Then we when both got up, we had coffee together and visited with Kayla and Lonnin too, me still in my pj’s and robe. Then Jon joined in and we sat on the deck in the sun before he and Scott went to the game.

While everyone ran around town at the game, library book sales and home show, I had a quiet lunch out on the deck. Then I napped out on the deck in the sun and read.

More sitting around visiting on the deck in the beautiful weather, a walk, then Mel and I went to the grocery store. While Scott and Dave ran to get more propane, Mel and I sat around and read.

Then we made and ate a delicious meal. Food tastes better when eaten with friends.

After dinner we ate dessert, blueberry slump, then laid around the couches and watched Peanut Butter Falcon, one of my all time favorite movies. If you haven’t watched it, you need to. Its about an adult young man with Down Syndrome who meets up with a down and out guy and they make friends.

Got up this morning and made blueberry muffins. We got ready and went to church at Rock Hills together.

Adult sleepovers are fun!

I’ve been a friend and advocate for sweet Adelle for about ten years now. Adelle is 24 and has autism. Adelle works at Burger King, participates in Special Olympics and parks and rec special pops activities. She attends church and Bible study weekly and goes to Genesis gym twice a week. She rides the Ata bus all over town.

Adelle has tons of friends. She’s active on social media and texts and calls friends to socialize. Everyone who meets Adelle loves her smile and positive attitude.

Yesterday i went with Adelle and her Mom for her yearly check in meeting at Big Lakes. Adelle has been on the wait list for an HCBS waiver for seven years. When we put her on the list, we were told the wait would be seven years. Now the wait in Kansas is eleven years. So she receives next to no services while she waits. I was the one who taught her to ride the bus, open a Facebook account, buy and use a cell phone. I encouraged her to get involved with special olympics and special pops. I was the one who helped her get on the wait list for services. I first took her to church.

Years ago i taught Adelle to cook eggs. Besides warming up hot dogs, it’s still the only thing she knows how to cook. Adelle is capable of so much more. I know it would be a challenge to live with Adelle. Hard to be there when she has a tantrum because her schedule changes.

When the eleven year wait is over, Adelle will be evaluated for independent living. They will determine how much support she needs and then she can move out and into some sort of supported living. They will work with her and teach her new skills.

Till then she’s on hold. Five more years. C’mon, Kansas. We can do better than this.

It hit me slowly. Like the time I was at the Orthopedic doctor for an issue with my knee and we were discussing options. The Dr. said, “If it were my mom…” then he left the room for something. I was appalled until I did the math and realized, “Oh my G, I’m old enough to be the mom of an Orthopedic doctor.”

The next time it hit me, I was watching Scott coach his college soccer team. All these young couples kept going by. They were obviously older than college kids and I wondered what they were doing there. Until it hit me, “Those are the parents!”

Right after I retired from school social work, I was heading out highway 24 on my way to St. George. It was about 5:30 or 6:00 and the sun was shining. I was singing and toodling along and all these cars were whizzing by me and it hit me, “OMG, I’m one of those retired people that irritate me so badly!”

The AARP cards have been coming in the mail for years.

I faxed myself by accident once at my last job.

I can’t keep up with the twenty year olds at the gym anymore. Though I still try. It irritates me when the trainers at 9 rounds treat me gently. I’ll kick their A**.

I will continue to fight it. When I get there (soonish), I plan to stay at 59 for a long time. Maybe til 70.

I don’t mind at all being called Grandma. But I am not ready to get old.

Today is the day we celebrate the birth of my brother, Dave. I have lots of Dave’s in my life, but my brother was the first. I have always looked up to him, he being three years older.

Dave and I grew up in a family that loved the best they could but had issues, issues that we are realizing as adults affected us. But I can remember so many good times, too. Laughter amidst the struggles. Dave and I turning on the wipers, blinkers and radio on blast while waiting in the car for mom to run in the grocery store so that when she came out and started the car, she’d be shocked. Mom asking while driving, “Is anything coming?” And Dave saying no, then adding the sound of a Mack truck coming, “Nothing but that Mack truck!” Dave trying to teach me to ride a bike down the gravel driveway (didn’t turn out so well) or talking me into taking a turn on a tire swing in the woods behind our house. Dave and his friends setting up a “seyonce” and with some trap to try to scare me. Watching Gilligan’s Island after school and The Partridge Family and Laugh In on Friday nights. Geez! I remember Dave accidentally lighting the couch on fire with a lighter and lighter fluid! Playing with our gerbils, American Woman and Tiny Tim together. Or just throwing a super ball up against the fireplace over and over.

Dave has always had an influence on me. These influences haven’t always been positive but they made me who I am and I don’t regret any of them. Like teaching me to smoke pot in high school. In college writing me tons and tons of letters urging me to accept Christ as my Savior so I wouldn’t go to hell. But then seeing the peace in him, I did. We went on a journey to find out who Christ is, from legalism and hypocrisy to freedom. He wasn’t always in the lead, but we walked parallel walks.

My brother isn’t perfect. But he is genuine and loving and trustworthy. He thinks he knows everything but guess what, he’s pretty dang wise.

I watched Dave go through tremendous difficulty with courage and vulnerability and openness. He taught me to face myself, my fears, my past, to challenge my faith and my thinking. He is teaching me how to forgive, how to love my family unconditionally. He taught me to become my true self and to love and accept myself.

Dave picked on me when we were little, as any older brother should. I could easily get him in trouble, though, and did often, whether or not he did anything to me. My favorite birthday card from Dave, he gave me on a trip to Arizona for one of Dad’s heart surgeries. It said on the front, “Remember all those times I picked on you when we were younger? I want you to know…”. Then on the inside, “….I plan to continue.”

Dave is very busy working full time, taking care of his father in law, building a barn home, keeping up with his four kids and tons of grandkids, so we don’t get to spend tons of time together. But he sends me texts full of love and encouragement. And when I need him, he’s right there.

I love you, bro, Happy Birthday.

You can make a difference and so can I.

It’s happening all around us. Women are trapped in unimaginable situations. Maybe they walked into it willingly. Maybe drugs dragged them in. The internet. Deception. Or an intense need for love, or some other unmet need.

So many have trauma histories. Foster care. Sexual abuse. Violated boundaries. Horrible pain that they try to numb out. Or poverty leads them in, a way to pay their overdue bills and fines, to take care of their children.

There are some who choose it, or believe they do. For a time. But most are filled with shame, feel trapped, traumatized, want out. Their brains actually deceive them, like an addiction. They are manipulated, deceived. They believe they are being loved or are being taken care of.

Sex trafficking.

So what can we do? The statistics are staggering. For every one who applies to our program, there are so many we turn away. I try hard not to think about it. We try so hard to make a difference. But we have six beds, very limited funds. We do make a difference with each one who comes.

Tons of people care. Changes are happening. Laws are changing. Funds are coming in. But the problem is growing faster than the help is coming in. I’d like to quote stats but those are impossible to keep up with, too. And they are so depressing.

I go back week after week and lead the support group. I go to the graduations, keep in touch with the graduates. I SEE and FEEL the difference God is making in the lives of these women. They stay for a year, more or less. It costs a huge amount to help each one. Dollars, hours and hours of volunteer time and other resources.

It isn’t enough.

How can you help them?

Like the starfish. One at a time. By raising awareness. One story at a time.

The girls bravely tell their stories. They speak out. Every person who hears, who is moved, hopefully is spurred on to figure out what their role is, how they can help. Maybe you can’t lead a support group or write a book. But you can give. Time, resources, money. You can sign petitions, speak out, attend events.

I wrote a book. I helped Sophie and Emma and others tell their stories. Now I’m trying to get their stories read. I’ve never written a book and never promoted one. Many in my circle are buying and reading the book. From all the research I’m doing about promoting a book, I understand I need reviews on amazon and Goodreads. I need you to tell your friends about the book. Help me get the word out. Outside this small circle. Word of mouth, social media. Tell everyone.

You can help.

Every day as I make my gratitude list, I thank God for coffee. I am truly thankful for coffee.

I have coffee with Jesus every morning. I sit in a special spot surrounded by my puppies, with bright lights, soft praise music, my prayer journal and Bible app, and my coffee. When I pop my eyes open in the morning, my first thought is always about coffee in this spot in this way.

I drink Starbucks breakfast blend coffee which is ironic, because I don’t really care for the fancy Starbucks offerings at the coffee shop. I use So Delicious vanilla coconut creamer. It is yummy and creamy and just sweet enough. I like to think it’s healthy but I could be deceiving myself.

We have tried French press and chemex pour over and decided we prefer our simple Braun coffee maker.

Unfortunately, I am unable to drink coffee after about 10:30 am or I’m awake all night. I’d love to have an afternoon cup. If I’m out for afternoon coffee with friends, I’ll have a decaf. Not sure why I don’t make it at home. Maybe I should!

I recently joined a Facebook group for coffee lovers and wow are they into it! This blog is for you!

I don’t do it often enough. That’s what i was thinking last night as i was seeing out my colorful place settings and pulling a yummy casserole out of the oven for friends.

I had my wonderful friend Cynthia and her roomies over for dinner last night. I forgot to take pics so i grabbed this one from Facebook because you have to see how fun and special she is.

I met Cynthia at my last job and she joined me in leading the support group at Homestead. Since then, we meet for lunch about every other week. Cynthia is an amazing person and social worker.

Cynthia’s roommate, Mack, often comes to stay with the dogs when we go out of town. So I was excited to have Cynthia, Mack and their roommate Carolyn over. We ate a yummy casserole, blueberry slump, drank Redd’s and chatted. Then we tried to light the fire pit up but the wood was too wet.

I have missed entertaining. I’m not a great cook or entertainment but I sure enjoy having people over.

Ever wonder what retired people do all day? When I was working, I imagined that they slept all day and sat around drinking coffee in their pajamas and went for walks, read all day, and basically did whatever they pleased. I think that’s what my husband thinks I do all day, too, eat bon bons all day or something. Most of the retired people are extremely busy and have to work at balance, self care, and rest, too. It’s the culture we live in.

BTW, the term I’ve decided that best fits my status is “temporarily semi retired.”

So what is a typical day like for me? I’ll give you a run down of today. Yesterday. I had the opportunity to go see my sister in law and neice (see blog post). I am super grateful for chances to go do those types of things along with visiting the grand babies.

I woke up this morning around 8. Yes, having no alarm clock set most days is glorious. Gone are the days of waking up at 5:30 and starting with middle schoolers in my office at 7:10. While working as a therapist, I often started with my first client at 8:30. But I set my own hours and only worked three days a week.

After I get up, I carry my old doggie, Rex, out to use the bathroom. I get my coffee (already made, thank you sweetie) and breakfast, then sit in my quiet time chair, one dog at my feet and one in my lap. I write in my journal, gratitude, prayers, Bible verses. I say I have coffee with Jesus every morning. Try it, He loves to join you. Also, it is important to get as much light into your eyes within the first hour of waking so I like to turn on all the lights and sit in a bright room.

Then I either get dressed and go to 9rounds for a workout before my bath or I take my luxurious soaker tub bath first then go lift weights at Genesis. I vary the times I go work out and I don’t go every day but I do try to do something physical every day.

Then I send a couple of encouraging texts to my peeps. Social connection is important. I try to do something in person, coffee, or lunch, with someone different most days of the week.

Next is promoting my novel and the practice I am opening soon through social media. I try to make one or two posts about each every day. I spend about one hour each per day on those two things, novel writing or promoting and something for the business. My favorite are shopping days when I look for things for the new office. Today I found a lockable wooden file cabinet from vintage round up and yesterday I had Leah go pick up the roasting pan I saw at an antique store for hot towels for the massage therapy room.

Next I run errands, pick up prescriptions, grocery store, bank, regular stuff that I used to have to squeeze in after work or on weekends. It is nice to do that during the day. Today I went to the doctor for the cold that won’t let up. I also hit Target and am happy to report that the red circle didn’t get me to buy anything not on my list!

At some point will be lunch, spent in front of the TV watching Netflix or catching up on my Chicago shows. BTW, Joel’s girlfriend Molly is going to be on an episode of The Resident soon, so I’ve been keeping up with that series. That’ll be fun.

Then of course, nap time. I have taken a short afternoon nap for at least 25 years. Super important! I’m semi famous for my naps. Of course, semi retirement can mean extra long naps.

I do a little cleaning each day. You would think my house would be pretty clean since I spend more time in it but I find it harder to be motivated to clean now than when I was working. I am trying to be more disciplined about this along with meal planning and prep. I think Scott would agree I’m worse at meals now.

Once a week I do the support group for Homestead. Once a week I meet with my clinical supervisees and graduate intern. I try to touch base with my Mama every day, once or twice a week in person. I see Adelle about once a month.

I also gotta work in some beauty stuff—hair cuts, mani pedi, tanning, all in prep for our Hawaii honeymoon in a few weeks. Today it was tanning.

So balancing self care, family, socialization, physical activity, spirituality, and productivity. I will still do this after I open the practice and go back to work.

And just like that the day is over and Scott is home. I let him unwind then we eat dinner, talk, watch HGTV and hang out.

It’s a great life.

Today I drove to Perry to visit my Sister-in-law, Shari in Perry. Since she is joining the practice Ethos Therapy and Life Coaching when it opens, she wanted me to sample one of her massages. Wow! She’s really good! I was so relaxed! I’m always worried I’m gonna drool during a massage.

After the massage and lunch, we drove to my niece Emily’s farm between Lawrence and Ottawa. I have wanted to see it for a long time and it was better than I even imagined. The farm house is beautiful with lots of homey unique features like brick walls in the kitchen and an oval window in the door.

First I met my great niece, Jessie. She’s 9 weeks old and the best baby! She didn’t fuss at all the whole time!

We went outside and met Kyle and Waffles the goats, the cats, the dogs, the chickens, the roosters, Greta the pig and Alex the duck. We also saw baby ducks and chicks inside.

I’m so glad I went. A little something out of the ordinary and a day I enjoyed very much.