My Brother

Today is the day we celebrate the birth of my brother, Dave. I have lots of Dave’s in my life, but my brother was the first. I have always looked up to him, he being three years older.

Dave and I grew up in a family that loved the best they could but had issues, issues that we are realizing as adults affected us. But I can remember so many good times, too. Laughter amidst the struggles. Dave and I turning on the wipers, blinkers and radio on blast while waiting in the car for mom to run in the grocery store so that when she came out and started the car, she’d be shocked. Mom asking while driving, “Is anything coming?” And Dave saying no, then adding the sound of a Mack truck coming, “Nothing but that Mack truck!” Dave trying to teach me to ride a bike down the gravel driveway (didn’t turn out so well) or talking me into taking a turn on a tire swing in the woods behind our house. Dave and his friends setting up a “seyonce” and with some trap to try to scare me. Watching Gilligan’s Island after school and The Partridge Family and Laugh In on Friday nights. Geez! I remember Dave accidentally lighting the couch on fire with a lighter and lighter fluid! Playing with our gerbils, American Woman and Tiny Tim together. Or just throwing a super ball up against the fireplace over and over.

Dave has always had an influence on me. These influences haven’t always been positive but they made me who I am and I don’t regret any of them. Like teaching me to smoke pot in high school. In college writing me tons and tons of letters urging me to accept Christ as my Savior so I wouldn’t go to hell. But then seeing the peace in him, I did. We went on a journey to find out who Christ is, from legalism and hypocrisy to freedom. He wasn’t always in the lead, but we walked parallel walks.

My brother isn’t perfect. But he is genuine and loving and trustworthy. He thinks he knows everything but guess what, he’s pretty dang wise.

I watched Dave go through tremendous difficulty with courage and vulnerability and openness. He taught me to face myself, my fears, my past, to challenge my faith and my thinking. He is teaching me how to forgive, how to love my family unconditionally. He taught me to become my true self and to love and accept myself.

Dave picked on me when we were little, as any older brother should. I could easily get him in trouble, though, and did often, whether or not he did anything to me. My favorite birthday card from Dave, he gave me on a trip to Arizona for one of Dad’s heart surgeries. It said on the front, “Remember all those times I picked on you when we were younger? I want you to know…”. Then on the inside, “….I plan to continue.”

Dave is very busy working full time, taking care of his father in law, building a barn home, keeping up with his four kids and tons of grandkids, so we don’t get to spend tons of time together. But he sends me texts full of love and encouragement. And when I need him, he’s right there.

I love you, bro, Happy Birthday.