I have 8 treatments left after today. I will go live on Facebook on March 21 right after my last treatment at 730 am when I ceremoniously ring the bell marking the end of radiation treatments. Mark your calendars for the first week of June for the biggest birthday, anniversary, retirement and done with cancer party in history.
I went into this so strong physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I’m not strong anymore. I know that God works all things for good for those who love Him and I do love Him so very much. I know He has a purpose in all of this. He’s reminding me that I don’t always have to be the strong one who is there for others, that there are seasons where I am the weak one only receiving. He is teaching me to rely on Him. He gives only the strength we need for each day. If I focus on my feelings, I flail. It’s so hard to be the weak one. People ask me how I am and I don’t know what to say. I say I’m exhausted.
How I really am? My hormones are a mess because I got yanked off my estrogen and since I cry when I’m exhausted I either am crying or feel like crying most of the time. I’m also having stomach problems unrelated to the cancer or treatments other than the stress so I have to be near a bathroom and I have to be super careful what I eat and I’ve lost 16 pounds. The skin on my boob is often raw or itchy. I am having all kinds of emotions about work that I’m not ready to face. I am struggling.
People want to help and ask what they can do to help. The truth is, I don’t know. Pray for me. Hug me. Listen to me. Check on me. Tell me I’m strong.
I continue to do my self care, gratitude, prayer journal, worship, trust. I use humor whenever possible. Yesterday at Homestead group, one of the girls cuddled up to me. She misses her mama and I always miss my babies so we acknowledged that. And then we laughed together about my “roasted turkey breast” that she was cuddled up to.
I am continually grateful for so so many things. It could have been so much worse. There are so many others whose journeys make mine look simple.
This is almost over and hope and recovery lies just around the corner.
dianegclark 
Love you Diane! 🤗 Tons of hugs. You are Strong and Positive and you continue to amaze me.❤️
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