Author: dianegclark

We are doing ok over here. I’ve never been more grateful for our comfortable home and outdoor areas.

We are both quarantined, believing that the stay at home order needs to be taken seriously. We try to avoid going to the store and take lots of precautions when we do. We are shopping two weeks in advance but inevitably need something within a week. We are shopping for mom, also, and a week out is the most we can get her to plan.

We do go for walks but try to go to less populated places. We have gotten carry out food from several places. Other than that, we stay home. Scott is working from home. I am seeing clients and doing all my clinical supervision, graduate supervision and Homestead groups from home by zoom.

We eat together every evening at the island watching HGTV or outside on the deck then lounge around on the couches in the evenings and binge watch netflix and try not to snack although we almost always cave.

We are getting along fine, a few rough moments here and there but from what we are hearing from others, we have it made. We have taken up some new hobbies, board games and ping pong.

I am doing a lot of writing, this blog, my professional blog, and a new novel about the virus that is helping me cope. I have the sequel to She’s On Her Own on hold because of difficulties getting a hold of the gal in prison who wanted her story told, but have approached another graduate about her story.

I do something to promote the practice, the book and now the music, soon to be released, every day. I am practicing what I preach and doing my self care, physical exercise, water, trying to eat right (failing at that one), a hot bath every day, meditation, yoga, of course daily prayer and journalling. I have coffee dates with friends more days than not.

We do lots of family FaceTimes. It isn’t the same with the grand babies but we are grateful for it. I feel closer to the kids than ever. We see mom almost every day and are treating the two households as one since none of us are really going anywhere. We are also closer than we were before.

I’m not saying this hasn’t been difficult. I write about the real struggles in my COVID-19 book. I’d like to make that a blog but it involves others so I’ll keep it to myself for now.

I think we can keep this up for awhile. I hope we are making a difference in keeping our community and circle safe.

How are you spending your quarantine?

Either it is being quarantined, or his being our only dog now, losing Rex, whatever it is, I have completely bonded with Diego. I love him and appreciate him so much more.

Diego has always greeted me excitedly in the morning. Now since we wake up late and slowly, he comes to bed and cuddles with us for a few minutes. Then when I’m going to the bathroom, he presses up against my legs for loves. I used to have to protect Rex from getting knocked over. Now I can focus on Diego’s joy.

Diego loves to play outside. He invites us to come with him often by acting like he wants to go out and then not going and looking up with expectancy.

Diego lays at my feet while I do my quiet time in the morning.

When on the bed or the couch, he sleeps on his back. He used to not let me, but now does let me scratch his tummy. He loves to have the fur on his back next to his tail scratched.

Rex was a one person dog. Diego loves Scott unquestionably. But Diego is now a two person dog. He checks on me, lays near me awhile, then checks on Scott and lays near Scott awhile.

Diego makes me happy and I’m glad we have him. I love him.

The plan for the book launch party changed a little with the stay at home order, but that didn’t stop us. Doing it online turned out to be fun.

I set up my favorite corner with the music stand holding my phone and iPad, one to record (didn’t work) and one for the facebook live. Then we had “Sophie” on Scott’s iPad next to me. And Scott played the music through the Bluetooth speaker from his phone. Cass called and then messenger video’d in the middle trying to figure out how to connect with us which made me drop the phone and laugh. I was nervous but with the mishaps and casualness of it, it turned out great. It made it seem fun and that came across.

I made an agenda and then when i went over it with Scott about a half hour before, I completely changed it up. I added a lot and winged it. I could see people coming on and their comments. We only had 21 live views but today, about 20 hours later, we have had 330 views and 7 shares. Positive feedback.

I watched it back right after it got done. I hadn’t planned it this way, but somehow, with me looking at the iPad which was off center, it looked like I was looking at the screen with Sophie on it. Which was cool.

The party got great reviews and comments. I can’t wait to see how it does for the book sales as people continue to watch it and then help out by liking and sharing. I have never written or promoted a book before so this is all new territory. I feel like the sales are all still happening in our circle so the challenge is to get it outside our circle. Promoting it on 4 social media platforms, two blogs, and author pages isn’t taking it far enough. I have mailed 6 copies to referring agencies and approached one top reviewer and will approach more. I found an author with a very similar book that has done well and sent her a copy. The launch party idea came from her. I have a list of more ideas from my research that I haven’t completed yet. If anyone has other ideas, please let me know! Spread the word! It isn’t about my success or even the success of the book, it is about getting the story out, raising awareness, and glorifying God.

The video can still be found on facebook.

Baths are glorious. I recognize that not everyone has a wonderful soaker tub like I do. And some people don’t like baths no matter what. But if you have a tub, I encourage you to fill it up and get in it!

I usually use some type of Epsom salts, either lavender bubble bath by Dr. Teal’s, or Dr. Teal’s lavender Epsom salts. If I use plain Epsom salts, I add essential oils. My favorite besides lavender is peppermint. It wakes me up. Lately, I have enjoying target brand Himalayan Epsom salts. They have a lovely soft scent.

Baths are relaxing. They are a great place to meditate. I take one every day. You should too!

Ok, we are all in the same boat about our hair. We have no way to get it cut professionally. I may get brave and let Scott get out the clippers for my sides.

I need to look presentable for teletherapy. Professional too. Well, professional for me.

I’ve been experimenting with different styles. Here are some variations. (I’m also working on selfies which I am terrible at. When choosing hairstyles try not to take into account makeup, lighting or selfie angle). I would like your feedback on each.

My attempt at side French braiding which I don’t know how to do.

My standard top pony tail.

Pinned behind the ear.

Down, needs a trim badly, only gonna get worse.

Badass Pink-like push up that I wear for shows.

Head band look. Also have a variety of scarves I can use for this.

Down, trimmed a little more.

Sloppy standard pigtail, sides need trimmed.

Side pigtail.

Which one do you like?

I write in a prayer journal every day. I pour out my true emotions and give Him my struggles. It is super important to do that. And then I blog. I try to encourage others through my blogs. Most of social media is encouraging lately. But that gives people a false idea that everyone else is doing well and they are alone in their struggles. So every now and then I like to get very real in my blogs.

I had a down day today. To be honest, I have not been sleeping well lately. I’ m not sure if it is the virus, losing Rex, or all on my mind with starting the practice and promoting the book.

Not much has changed for me day to day due to the virus. Except not being able to hug people or hold my grand babies or see my mama in person other than on her patio six feet away. I’m actually being just as. if not more, social than before, having coffee dates over video chat. (Let me know if you want to meet up).

I’ve been pouring myself into my work. There is lots to do to promote a new business and a book. Lots of details to pull together. But I love that. Maybe too much. I realized that I use overachievement or work as a crutch.

I am trying very hard to practice what I preach about self care. Exercise, regular sleep and routines, eating right, getting dressed every day, cleaning, socializing, meditating. I don’t always accomplish all those things.

I’ve noticed I’m more anxious lately. More down. Less motivated. Irritable. My new take away? That’s ok! It more important to be in touch with what i am feeling and accept it as ok. It’s ok to have down days. It’s ok to not check off everything on that to do list or everything on that self care list. We must sit in our feelings once in awhile. It’s ok to take that nap or go back to bed or just stop trying for awhile.

I read a post today about therapists going through this big pandemic thing alongside their clients. It is so very true. We are all going through this. It wouldn’t be right to pretend we aren’t feeling this too. Somehow we’ve given therapists the idea that they have to have it all together all the time, to be strong always. But we are human too.

We need to give ourselves grace. If we need a nap, take it. If we need a strong drink, have it. Take a bath, take that walk, call a friend, skip the exercise, order out, get a babysitter. We are all in this together. It is imperative that we allow ourselves to be real and to take care of ourselves so we have something else to give.

It’s been awhile since I updated you on myself and some key things about my life.

Response to the virus: Scott and I are on as close to 100 % quarantine as we can get. Scott’s meetings are online and when he goes to work, he is quarantined in his remote office. He is considering bringing his work computer home.

I am conducting my clinical supervision and graduate intern meetings online as well as Homestead meetings, although I did meet outdoors at a 6 foot distance to do Homestead group last week. I am praying about this week’s meeting as it is impossible to do a group as such, online. I may meet individually by telehealth briefly with each girl. We do go to the grocery store as needed (trying hard to limit it to weekly) as sterile as possible. We do go out and walk, also, but we have decided not to walk around City Park when it is nice anymore as there are too many people.

Leah is on 100% quarantine with the boys as she is pregnant. Hannah and Joel’s communities are on quarantine. Mom is on quarantine although I have to help her understand that, as she had a friend in her home yesterday. I did visit her outside on the porch at 6 feet yesterday. Her friend is grocery shopping for her. We facetime every day.

Me otherwise: My lifestyle has not changed significantly since I’ve been mostly at home anyway. I am enjoying having Scott home more. I have changed my social coffee and lunch dates to facetime and those have been refreshingly fun.

As you know, our little sweet Rexie died on Friday. I do miss him and cry a little each day, but overall, I was way more prepared than I thought I’d be.

Leah has been bringing me great joy by sending adorable videos of the boys. Today she sent Dave playing soccer with the boys indoors and Emmet doing online circle time. I am actually feeling more connected to the kids as each are spending time FaceTiming us more frequently.

I’m practicing self care as I preach to everyone else but sleep is not going great and exercise is hard to find motivation to do along with laying off the snacks. We all may gain all kids of weight before this thing is over!

The Practice: I am gearing up to open the practice anyway by telehealth. This involves a shift in technology and paperwork practices. I have set up the office upstairs and am getting some final things done to begin the marketing push and open. I am so thankful I didn’t sign the lease but the landlord did get in touch and I believe will start the renovations so we can open the actual physical practice as soon as this thing passes. I am feeling hopeful about all of this and am hoping that we meet the need that is out there and growing daily. Dave is shifting more to Pastoral Care and Shari will offer health coaching as we feel people may see Life coaching as nonessential, however, I am not sure that is true.

I am promoting the practice through social media and other forms and started a professional blog you can also follow at ethostherapyandlifecoachingblog.wordpress.com.

Keep an eye on EthosTherapyandLifeCoaching.com and our facebook and instagram pages. The more traffic we get on each of these platforms, including the blog, the more that google will bump us up on the search lists.

The Book: Obviously I am moving the launch party to online but it will still take place. Meanwhile, I am delivering and mailing out the autographed copies. I figured out how to print labels and mail it from home. The book has been selling steadily online. I am doing one thing daily to promote it and have a long list yet to do. The book is getting excellent reviews so that is encouraging. We will do a media release and social media push before the launch party, April 4 and 7pm, probably on facebook live.

I am blogging more frequently as the blog is now connected to my social media platforms.

I am running into frustrations in writing the sequel with the gal in the correctional facility so I am tossing around other ideas for book number two.

The Music: The contract is signed and we are a go. The songs are completed, mixed and mastered and they sound amazing! Scott, Dave and Chad are meeting at least weekly to make strategic plans for releasing them. I am not completely up to speed but the songs will be released several at a time along with lyric videos. I am so so so excited for you to hear them, both for the amazing sound, music and harmonies, but also for the message of each one. The Place, She’s On Her Own, Restored, and That’s Why I Like the Rain are already out on all online music platforms but they have also now been remastered to match the other sounds better and will be re-released. Other new songs to look forward to are (in order of my favorites):

The Fall, written about Sophie and others who are addicted, hitting their rock bottom.

Guardian Strangers, although not specifically intended that way, it makes me think of law enforcement officers out there protecting us, angels unaware.

Old Dirt Road, although the streets of heaven are paved in gold, I think God must live on an old dirt road.

You and I, this is a fun song that will probably get more radio time than the others and possibly cross over to the pop charts. It is about getting away from our technology to connect with our lover. (I am super proud of this song because i killed the harmonies on this song)

Defining Moment, This is about following your dreams and stepping out into your purpose.

Life Goes On, moving on, forgiving and letting go of the past.

Life Happens, finding joy in the present.

Please watch for the new songs to come out on Midwest Meets Manhattan facebook page.

Rex died last night, 15 minutes after his 17th birthday ended at midnight. He was struggling starting in the afternoon so as I fed him his birthday cheeseburger, I felt that it could be his last meal. He sure enjoyed it!

We got Rex so long ago, from a pet store in Westloop. Don’t judge, this was way before we were even aware of puppy mills. We frequently went there to get supplies for the guinea pigs. It was some months after losing the Sheltie that the kids grew up with, Allie dog. Rex was this tiny little fluff ball, about six pounds. Leah and Joel were with me. We left the store and called Scott who was away at a soccer tournament and then called our brother in law, Kevin, who was a vet, who assured us that Shih Tzu’s make great pets. We went back and brought him home.

Hannah was playing in a soccer tournament in Wichita. We called her and allowed her to name him since she hadn’t been there when we chose him. She said, “I wanted a big dog so I’m going to name him a big dog name, Rex.” We took Rex in a box with us to the tournament to meet Hannah on the sidelines. Our friends Pam and Sarah, also playing in the tournment brought their brand new puppy that day, a Great Dane. He lived for 7 years.

My earliest memories of Rex were a tiny fur ball pushing around a giant soccer ball in circles with his little nose both out at Anneberg and at Joel’s birthday party. We tried to have him sleep with Leah but he cried in the night so we put him in a carrier and he slept on my bed with my fingers in the cage to comfort him. He used to make little noises with his mouth like he was nursing. He did that for years. He slept in my bed for the entire rest of his life. The kids and Scott loved him, but he quickly became my dog. Shih Tzu’s tend to be one person dogs. Rex would cuddle up in my arms for awhile but he preferred to sleep at my feet or pressed against my legs. He tried to sleep on my head when it was storming outside. Rex always had to be on the bed with me not matter what, if I was sick, napping, sleeping, etc. He followed me around, even into the bathroom, and sat next to me on the couch, nearby while I was bathing, watching me use the bathroom.

When Rex was young, he was a runner. We tried and tried to train him not to do that but the kids would worry and chase him and he learned it was a game. He spent hours running around the neighborhood and the woods across the street eventually coming home covered in cockle burs that had to be taken out one by one. I once watched Rex chase after a rabbit right in front of the tires of a car that screeched to a stop to avoid hitting him. We all panicked while he was out running. We’d pray and watch for him but there wasn’t a whole lot more we could do.

When Rex was about 5, we got another Shih Tzu, Professor, who was Leah’s dog and lived with us for two years and then during the school year for 4 more years. Rex didn’t love Professor, just tolerated him. Professor desired more affection than Rex. Professor died about 4 years ago at the age of 7.

Rex was there for me through all life’s difficulties, illness, surgeries, storms, arguments, cancer. He was always on the bed, couch or by my side.

We were blessed to have such great vet care. For most of his life, Rex saw my brother in law, Kevin. Kevin did his neuter, an eye surgery, and all his shots. It made for a fun day to go to Perry for our check ups.

Several years later, we got Diego. Rex was not too happy about that, either. Diego was smaller than Rex when we got him and was supposed to turn out to be about Rex’s size, 16 pounds, but grew to a full 42 pounds. He used to play roughly with Rex and run over him when he was in the way but as Rex got older, Diego became more careful with him and left him alone. They often ate or drank together and very occasionally cuddled up.

Rex became ill about 4 years ago. He went through strokes and seizures that were later diagnosed as heart attacks and congestive heart failure. We’ve had his euthanasia scheduled several times. I created a facebook page for him to gather memories in anticipation of his death. But he kept pulling through. Dr. Deb at Konza was so amazing and perscribed meds that gave us another 4 years with him.

Yesterday Rex had trouble breathing again. I knew it was his heart. I quickly did his birthday party cheeseburger video and called the vet. She suggested I increase one of his meds and I did. He rested and struggled next to me on the couch. At midnight, I took him out to pee and left him out just for a minute. When I returned, he was passed out. I brought him inside and held him as he went through the process of dying. Scott was standing there helplessly patting me. Hannah was on the phone reassuring me that the process was normal. It was so hard but I was so thankful that I was there holding him and that I didn’t have to make the difficult decision.

Please go to his facebook page, Rex Clark, for more photos and to share your favorite memories of Rex. We will all miss him terribly, but me, most of all.

Below are a set of tips for coping with social distancing and these difficult times gathered from a variety of sources. i hope you find them helpful. Good reminders for all of us.

1. Keep a regular sleep schedule. It’s ok to sleep a little extra but try to go to sleep and get up as close to the same time each day. In the morning, get as much light into your eyes as possible.

2. Bathe and get dressed for the day every day.

3. Get time in nature every day. Open air should be ok if not done in a crowd.

4. Journal, pray, check in with yourself and your feelings every day. Find the balance between denial and submerging yourself. Reach out to others and share how you are doing.

5. Meditate. Stay as present as you can. “What if” thinking is dangerous. We can speculate and prepare but not to the point anxiety overtakes us.

6. Connect. Reach out to someone who needs you. And reach out to someone who makes you happy. FaceTime is amazing to help us during this time. If you don’t have an iPhone, messenger video does a great job. For groups, try google handouts.

7. Get some exercise every day. Take a walk outside, do yoga, do an at home body weight work out or Tabata. Pinterest has tons of work out ideas.

8. Keep your area clean and tidy. Not just for hygiene purposes but for mental health.

9. Try to eat regularly, avoid late night snacks and unhealthy foods that we all tend to crave when stressed.

10. Take breaks from your loved ones. Find that balance of togetherness and alone time even within your family.

11. Rest. It’s ok to slow down. Our bodies weren’t created for the life styles we’ve been living. Maybe when this is all over, we will change our fast paced lives permanently.

12. Set realistic goals for productivity. Try to complete one task before starting another. Distractions are harder to manage at home. Write a short list to complete for the day but if you don’t get it all done, relax and add it to tomorrow’s list.

13. Try not to numb out. It’s ok to do something relaxing that you enjoy like playing a game online, scroll facebook, or watch TV. Keep track and be sure you aren’t numbing out.

14. Limit exposure to news. Try assigning one person to keep an eye open for all the latest news or decide how much you will check the news and stick to that.

15. Give yourself grace if you aren’t able to do all these things. They are helpful tips only.