IBS

As i begin my healing journey, I am just beginning to understand how truly sick I’ve been. For a very long time.

Yesterday i went to lunch with friends at a taco place. I can eat corn and salsa every 4 days so i indulged in chips and salsa. I ordered carnitas with corn tortillas but didn’t love it so boxed it and filled up with chips. As i finished, i felt the very familiar discomfort in my bowels. I am still inflamed. I excused myself and rushed off in a panic, clenching as usual. And then. I had a normal BM. And felt fine. As i drive home after, i teared up, realizing i haven’t needed to panic or rush. I’m getting better.

I’ve suffered from the symptoms of IBS for years. And anxiety, worsened during cancer treatment six years ago. I thought the IBS was the result of the anxiety or at least complicated by it. Now I’m learning that both symptoms, and more, were due to food sensitivities, leaky gut, a really unhealthy gut, and a parasite, most likely picked up in Cambodia.

I’m doing it! I started with coffee. This is hard for me, to say the least. I’ve savored a cup of coffee with creamer during my morning quiet time every morning for 40 years. And i happen to own a coffee shop. I ordered mud/wtr which is anti inflammatory mushrooms, chai tea and cacoa. I like it! I add silk oatmilk creamer.

Changing the rest of my diet was and continues to be a challenge. I am not a vegetable or fruit lover. I am not an adventurous eater. So to completely change almost every meal and snack is so so so hard. I’m grieving. I am saved by the fact that i can eat potatoes (no butter, cheese or sour cream), chips and popcorn. But only every four days. And I’ve lost 7 pounds in three weeks.

I feel better. The cramps are easing. No rushing to the bathroom or God forbid not making it. No longer feeling and looking 9 months pregnant after eating. maybe after the grief eases, my mood will also improve. I can relax. My stomach feels so much better. I think I’ve been really sick for a long time.