Church

I have mixed feelings about church.

I became a believer as a young adult. Scott and I began attending Westview Community Church soon after being married. We went to church almost every Sunday, went on missions trips and disaster response missions, I taught Sunday school for kids for years. I attended some women’s Bible studies several times over the years and even taught some in my home. We developed many friendships, mostly acquaintances. We raised our kids in the church, from the time they were babies until they stopped attending as teens. In all, we attended Westview for 30 years.

Six years ago, we left Westview to start TRU church with a core group of believers. We were disillusioned? Burned out? Lethargic? About our faith at Westview.

Our experience at TRU was mostly positive. There, we developed close relationships with the worship team, core group, and others. We served on the worship team, the welcome team (me) and the kids ministry (Scott). Scott served on the board. We got involved in almost every special event and meeting. We stepped down when Dave did, in response to some changes an hurtful attitudes. This was a huge loss for me.

In the last year since leaving TRU, I have attended several other churches, looking for an inclusive, progressive vibe and not finding it. I have been through a tremendous amount of pain and personal growth and change over the last few years. My faith has also undergone changes. Disillusionment, healing from shame, rebellion, undoing of hurts.

But I find myself missing community worship, fellowship, group prayer, the teaching of church.

Several Sundays ago I attended Westview again to witness the baptisms of several of our Homestead girls. Of course, I sat in the front row with them. Today I attended again. And you know, I liked it. I felt belonging again, connection, the Spirit.

I enjoyed seeing Devon rocking the worship team (and that outfit). I made a date with an old friend to catch up over coffee. And I got a kick out of the new invention covid safe communion cup. It has the wafer in the top and the juice in the bottom.

I think I’ll go back. I’m not ready to commit to attending weekly or to getting involved quite yet. But I can say that I will be back. I never would have imagined this.