As i woke this morning and sat down to have coffee with Jesus, i felt calm. Yesterday as this thing, this virus, the realities of it sinking in, hit home, i numbed out on Facebook. I isolated and then ripped into friends for expressing their frustrations on Facebook. I went to bed frustrated and upset.
I woke today with a renewed perspective.
Down deep i feel calm. I joke about the fact that i have anxiety and that has prepared me for this, but the truth is, so much more has prepared me for this. The last time i felt completely helpless was when i was diagnosed with cancer. I felt a deep peace through it all that i couldn’t really explain. The last year and a half since then as i experienced many more losses that were so very hard, i didn’t feel as hopeful or strong or peaceful, but now, on the other side of it, i know without a doubt that God has been with me. He is good and though i go through difficult things, He has never left my side. He’s pulled me back from the cliff of my own weaknesses again and again. He is my hope and my peace.
These are not just words to me, reassurances, crutches. It has been and continues to be my reality. A deep, unexplainable, lasting stability and peace in the storm. I think of the Bible story of the disciples in the tiny boat with the storm raging around them. Jesus doesn’t always calm the storm. But He reminds us He is here. The storm is gonna calm eventually and the sun is gonna come up after. We don’t know when and we don’t know how hard the storm is gonna be, but He is with us. If i keep my eyes on Him and not the waves, I’ll be ok.
You can too. If you need this peace and aren’t feeling it, reach out to me and I’ll do my best to share with you how to find it, how to find Him.
dianegclark 