The Story of Us

June 2, Scott and I will celebrate 35 years of marriage. That feels so strange to me. We are growing old together.

Scott and I met in a philosophy class at K-State. I was 21, Scott was 22. I thought he was older. I only dated older guys. He was already a fire fighter. I thought he was gorgeous. I remember glancing at his strong, hairy forearms as he sat next to me in class taking notes. And passing me notes. He borrowed my class notes when he was on shift at the FD and then got better grades on his papers.

I was dating someone else and had been for a year. It was serious but our relationship was beginning to unravel. Scott and I became friends. He walked me home from class and called to ask about class things but we ended up talking for hours. One night when I was upset with my boyfriend, Scott said he had his fire department friends over to his mom’s house for chili and did I want to come? I said yes. While over there, I overheard his mom talking to her friend who had asked her who I was. Julie answered, “That’s the girl Scott is in love with but she’s dating someone else.”. Oh-oh. I hadn’t had a clue. I asked Scott about it on the way home and he confirmed it. So we stopped being friends for awhile.

I broke up with the guy shortly after and went to Mexico for 6 weeks with my Mom on student exchange. All I could think about was Scott. When I got back to town, I searched all over for him and found him bartending at a club in Aggieville. I made my interest known and he said he was dating someone else!

Scott broke up with that girl shortly after and found me again. I was back in party/fun mode so he had to pursue me again. This time I let him catch me.

Scott and I had so much in common right from the start. We had similar family histories. We had both had really bad experiences with prior relationships. And we had both accepted Christ and had no real idea what that meant for us. We were both heavy partiers in high school and continued to drink while dating and for awhile in our early marriage. But we started dating and fell in love hard. He was (and still is) such a great kisser! We were engaged by December and married by June, on my 22nd birthday.

Scott and I were basically babies when we married and we grew up together. We graduated college and he helped me get my Master’s degree. We started attending church and grew in our faith. We stopped drinking. We went through hard times, losing several pregnancies. We adjusted to his schedule, 24 hour shifts, three days on and off followed by 4 days off. We were both pretty independent and so it worked. I took him meals at the fire department and went on ice cream runs for the guys but when I was mad at him, I would take him a can of ravioli and he caught a lot of shit from the other guys. We moved 5 times the first 5 years, starting with a tiny two room apartment and then duplexes and other rentals.

Then we bought a beautiful house that we still live in and were blessed with the birth of our kids, filling up the house and making it a home.

We had such a great time raising the kids. We parented well together. We love our extended family, our in laws, our siblings, etc. We were both blessed with awesome careers that we loved. We divided up the chores and supported one another. We grew in our faith, went on missions trips, attended church faithfully.

Scott is an amazing man. He has taken such great care of us over the years, working hard, sacrificing, leading, managing our finances, putting up with me. Trust me, it takes a very strong, confident (and patient) man to handle me.

Yes, there were hard times, ups and downs. One particular time when the kids were older and we were so so so busy, we had grown apart and let a number of issues build up to a dangerous level in our marriage. God woke me up one night and I made a list. I took Scott the list and he categorically disagreed with every one of them. I explained that I wanted our marriage but these things needed to change. He took that list and one by one, made all the changes. I have so much respect and appreciation for him because of this.

Scott and I are best friends. We are completely transparent, accepting and trusting of one another. We both know without one doubt that the other has our backs and that the other is 100% committed and faithful. We have so much fun together, singing in the car, singing on the worship team, going for walks and hikes, playing catch in the back yard, grand-parenting, watching Netflix.

We balance one another in the areas where we differ (spender/saver, early/late, tasks oriented/procrastinator, risk taker/thinker, impulsive/responsible, emotional/rational…) We have come to appreciate our differences and use them to make each other and life better.

I won’t go into the personal things that also make our relationship super fun and special, because this is a public blog, so you’re just gonna have to wonder. But yeah, that’s pretty amazing too. The attraction has never ever waned.

I am so thankful for my husband and for every moment of our 35 years. Here’s to many many more!