Facebook

I’m addicted to Facebook. There, I said it.

I’ve read multiple times about how Facebook contributes to mental health problems.

People present their very best selves on facebook. For example, a family takes a trip together, arguing in the car, arguing all the way while climbing up the mountain, then when they arrive at the summit, they put their arms around each other, smile brightly, and post that photo. Then argue and complain all the way down the mountain and all the way home. Everyone looking at the photo assumes they’re the happiest family with no issues or problems and further, their own family is less by comparison.

Below are just a few studies I found on how facebook negatively affects us:

“Overall, our results showed that, while real-world social networks were positively associated with overall well-being, the use of Facebook was negatively associated with overall well-being. These results were particularly strong for mental health; most measures of Facebook use in one year predicted a decrease in mental health in a later year. We found consistently that both liking others’ content and clicking links significantly predicted a subsequent reduction in self-reported physical health, mental health, and life satisfaction.

Harvard Business Review, April 2017″

Feeling sad after you log out isn’t the only way Facebook takes a toll on your mental health. A study that will be published in the June 2016 issue of Current Opinion in Psychology found that envying your friends on Facebook leads to depression.

Scrolling through happy status updates, exciting vacation photos, and beautiful family moments led participants to compare their lives with those of their Facebook friends.

Those social comparisons led people to assume their Facebook friends had better lives. And those feelings of envy increased their chances of developing depression.

Researchers say it stems from a psychological term called affective forecasting. Studies confirm that people predict Facebook is going to make them feel better.

They assume–albeit incorrectly–that 20 minutes of Facebook activity will boost their mood. They don’t recognize that it’s actually robbing them of joy.

So the cycle continues. Someone assumes Facebook will give a momentary break from stress or a quick opportunity to check in with friends.

But ultimately, that individual isn’t likely to communicate with friends, nor is the Facebook visit likely to boost his or her mood. Yet there’s a good chance the person will fail to recognize the personal toll being taken, and he or she will keep going back for more.

Psychology Today March 7, 2016″

“Dunbar’s colleague, Sue Fudge, added, “Although social media may seem like the perfect way to make and maintain friendships, this research shows that face-to-face interaction is essential for truly authentic relationships and that shares, selfies and ‘likes’ are no replacement for the bonding that takes place whilst sharing food, experiences and anecdotes.”

Psychology Today January 2016″

“Weddings, promotions, books, dream jobs, international travel—images like this can nag at us, make us feel inadequate, like awkward teenagers, trying to fit in. The inner critic hisses that we’re “not attractive enough,” “not popular enough,” “not good enough.” Comparison is a zero/sum game that implies there’s only a limited amount of good to go around, so one person’s win becomes someone else’s loss. Caught up in this toxic game, we can spiral into frustration, dissatisfaction, and depression.

Psychology Today September, 2103″

Knowing this, I’ve tried to stop. Unsuccessfully.

None of the other social media platforms affect me this way. I check Instagram for about 2 minutes to look at the cute videos of the grandkids, mostly. I have a twitter that I never check. I think I signed up years ago to Google plus and also Linked In. I haven’t checked them in years.

So what can we do?

First, I made sure that Facebook is positive. I follow maybe less than a third of the people on my friend list. If people are negative or political, critical, complainy, rude, inappropriate or mean, I don’t follow them.

Then I like positive things, like cute animals, uplifting or inspiring quotes and videos.

So when I scroll through the page, I see my closest friends, family, old friends, co workers, and people I attend church with. I see positive images and words that uplift, make me feel good, encourage.

The author of the Psychology Today September 2013 article goes on to say, “You can stop playing this game by becoming mindful, noting when you’re comparing yourself to others, and asking:

• “What am I feeling?”
• “What’s really going on?”
• “Is there anything I can learn from this?”

Then take a deep breath, returning to the present moment to embrace your own unique life, for in all the world there has never been anyone with your fingerprints, your combination of talents, your thoughts and experiences. You can transcend comparison and competition by realizing that you have unique gifts to offer the world. To live in your uniqueness is to live creatively, as your own deepest and most authentic self, discovering new opportunities, experiencing small miracles, finding joy and meaning in making your own music, writing your own story, claiming your own voice.”

If you figure out a way not to be tempted to buy all the cool stuff advertised on facebook, be sure to let me know.